Stiff Competition
by darcy58
Summary: An afternoon in the Hub. The team makes some interesting discoveries about each other. And just who is it that thinks Ianto is gorgeous? Chapter 3 now posted: After playing rugby, Ianto and Rhys meet the rest of the team for a drink and implement a plan to poke some insecurities. Set post-Meat. Ianto centric & Janto romantic, and featuring the team and Rhys.
1. Chapter 1: Stiff Competition

**Author's Note: **The idea for this began in an on-line conversation with Gmariam and Cerih who suggested I should, as a middle aged gay man, write a smutty locker room story for Jack and Ianto as my first contribution to Torchwood fandom. This is not that story: I couldn't do it! Instead we have this, which I do hope you may enjoy. The idea of a smutty one-shot has turned into something that will have 5 or 6 chapters and will (in a hopefully amusing way) explore the relationships that might have existed between the members of the Torchwood team by the time of the middle half of Season Two. This story takes place after Meat, and perhaps around the time of Adam -an episode which had the best of all endings for it legitimized forgetting that it existed - and before the zombification of Owen. It does take some liberties with canon, and is more an imagined 'what if they'd paid more attention to consistent character development' type story. But its not AU. And it is definitely a romance for Ianto and Jack. (The ordering of that may give you some clue as to my preference in that pairing.)

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own Torchwood or the characters - I'm not quite sure who does these days but it isn't me. If it was I'd try for a little more consistency with our beloved characters than what the owners gave us, and I would decidedly allow the proper development of Ianto and Jack as a couple (I'm looking at you RTD). And they would still be in the Hub in Cardiff with a pet pteranodon, and we might even have seen the inside of Ianto's flat. And that makes this fun because I can imagine those things. Certainly there's no money in it.

**Gratitude: ** My thanks to Gmariam for her experienced advice on appropriate punctuation, which was very much needed. Any mistakes on that score are mine and mine alone. And also thanks for her comments on a first draft suggesting she "got the jokes"for they gave me hope I was on the right track.

**Enormous Gratitude: **My gratitude to Cerih is boundless, for her active encouragement and insightful comments and conversation as my friendly and kind beta finally enabled me to find the courage to publish a story. This would not be here without her, and especially too, because she found some things funny.

* * *

**Stiff Competition**

"Oi, Ianto!" Owen bellowed from the autopsy bay, his voice echoing up through the Hub, "be a good time for some coffee, mate."

It was mid-afternoon on a wet blustery winter's day and with no Rift activity the Torchwood team were secluded in the warmth of the Hub. Their work on a back-log of tasks had been progressing in comfortable silence. With Myfanwy asleep in her nest, only the soft whirring of computers accompanied the team as they worked.

Seated at his desk, Jack was making his way through a pile of files Ianto had indicated were important. Rather than leave his office and relinquish the pleasing rate of progress in the task at hand, he bellowed back:

"You'll have to make it yourself Owen, Ianto is taking the rest of the afternoon off."

"No way am I going near that machine Jack, my life's worth more than a cup of coffee," Owen shouted up at the office.

"Well then, go out and buy some," yelled Jack.

"Are you kidding? Be bloody mad to go out in this weather!" Owen's horror at the thought bounced off the walls of the Hub.

"Geez, Owen, make some damn instant then." Jack's frustration was so evident Myfanwy was heard stirring in her nest.

Sitting at her work station Tosh glanced at Gwen, who shrugged her shoulders in shared understanding.

"I knew it couldn't last," Tosh grumbled with exasperation. "Bloody men, why do they have to shout at each other, why can't they use their comms?"

"You answered your own question Tosh: they're men. That's a species unable to multi-task."

"Now there's a truth that should be universally acknowledged," Tosh responded with resignation before turning back to her computer. After a little she began to giggle, drawing Gwen's attention. She watched with bemused interest as Tosh typed rapidly – her hands flying across the keyboard. Finishing with a dramatic flourish, Tosh turned and gave Gwen the smile of a conspirator.

"And it's a truth that will now be known across time and space."

With wide eyes and a grin indicating she was expecting a naughty pleasure, and knowing Tosh's capacity for mischief, Gwen asked the obvious. "What have you done?"

Tosh dead-panned "You know how UNIT makes those broadcasts of information about planet Earth into deep space?"

Gwen nodded that she knew of them.

"Well, I've simply added to their database on Homo-Sapiens. It is now an official UNIT truth that males of the human species are simple beings, and therefore unable to multi-task. That news will be beamed out to the Universe when they do their next information transmission!"

"Oh, God, you didn't!" Gwen spluttered through her laughter.

"I did, and better yet, I put it in the warnings category." Tosh smirked with pride.

Gwen laughed for a minute, "Oh Tosh you really are a subversive at heart aren't you!"

"Not at all, I consider it my duty in terms of the Torchwood Charter…"

Gwen adopted a posh accent. "Ladies and gentlemen: I give you Toshiko Sato - a true heroine of Torchwood for her commitment to defending the Universe from the simplicity of men."

Making a small bow, a laughing Tosh attempted a deferential reply "Thank you, thank you; I was only doing my duty - as they say, the truth has to be out there. And who knows, maybe one day…"

"Shame the truth's not in here with this lot." Gwen cast her eyes around the Hub. "Excepting Ianto, of course."

"Excepting Ianto," agreed Tosh with warmth. "Now there's a man who can multi-task."

"Indeed. He could multi-task me anytime." Gwen murmured to herself as she turned back to her desk.

She was horrified when she heard Tosh say "You and me both!"

"Oh God, I didn't …I did, didn't I? …I said that out aloud."

"Only loud enough for me to hear, but you're not wrong."

They stared at each other for a moment with mutual regard before Gwen wandered over to join Tosh by her desk. "You too eh, but I thought -?"

"Come on Gwen, we'd have to be blind not to notice. Those eyes, the skin, his hair, those smiles."

"Oh god yes: the suits, the hands, that twinkle he gets when he laughs," giggled Gwen.

"His manners, his intelligence."

"The way he moves."

"The way he treats us with respect," Tosh said seriously.

"He is gorgeous, isn't he?" sighed Gwen. "Just the complete package. And he cleans up after himself!"

"The thinking woman's crumpet, that's our Ianto," offered Tosh.

"Crumpet? More like an all you can eat buffet," giggled Gwen.

Tosh, laughing, shook her head, "What's gotten into us, Gwen? How did we end up swooning like a couple of besotted fan-girls?"

"Oh god we are, aren't we." Gwen dramatically fanned herself as she fell limply into Tosh's arms. They looked at each other before squealing together "OOOOHHH Ianto Jones!" which set off more laughter. Some moments later as Tosh wiped the last of the tears from her eyes, and Gwen physically shook herself in an attempt to restore her professional demeanour, they heard approaching footsteps.

It was Jack, enticed from his office by the sounds of enjoyment coming from the work stations. He observed them in silence for a moment, before speaking with a touch of bewilderment.

'Well, well, well, sounds to me like you two are having too much fun to be working. Oi Owen," he turned and bellowed in the direction of the autopsy bay, "get your bony arse up here, the girls are having a party without us!"

With his back turned while he waited for Owen, he didn't hear Tosh whisper to Gwen "Another fact for Unit's database."

Owen arrived a few moments later grumbling about distractions and displacement activities. Jack threw an arm over his shoulder in an attempt at matey bonhomie. Guiding Owen to his station, Jack pushed him into the chair, and perched himself on the edge of the desk.

'So, ladies, want to tell us what's got you so amused?"

As Gwen fished around for something to say, Tosh looked at both men with considerable innocence and stated simply, "We were just discussing Ianto's multi-tasking attributes."

Jack grinned knowingly. "You don't have to tell me about how capable he is at multi-tasking. In fact, last night he was demonstrating just how he -"

Gwen cut him off before he could go any further, "Yes, thank you for that Jack, no need to go on."

Pointing at his waving hands Tosh added, "And we really don't need the pictures."

"I thought we were supposed to be having fun," Jack mumbled with a slight touch of hurt, "and it was fun. I just wanted to share it."

Sensing Jack's disappointment at having his contribution cut short, Tosh replied sweetly "I'll bet it was lovely Jack, but you know, it's about you and Ianto and it might be nice just to keep that private between you guys." Allowing Jack a moment to consider her words and to bring some amusement back to the conversation she quipped "… and besides, I'm quite able to draw my own pictures."

"Twenty-first century boundaries, huh?" Jack smiled at her.

"Yeah Jack, twenty-first century boundaries."

Still annoyed that he'd been dragged away from an interesting exploration of an obviously deceased but as yet unidentified alien something or other, Owen groused at them.

"What's the big deal? So Teaboy can manage to scratch his arse and pick his nose simultaneously, that doesn't explain why I've been dragged up here."

"Gwen and I were discussing the failure of men to multi-task, and how that fact is universally acknowledged," Tosh responded with a straight face. "It caused us a few laughs while we were talking about it, that's all."

"And how did Ianto specifically come into that conversation? I mean, I'm male and I can multi-task, so what's so special about Teaboy?" Owen grizzled.

Gwen chuckled "Oh don't worry Owen, we talked about you as well."

On seeing a baffled expression wash over Owen's face, Gwen nudged Tosh.

"You're right Tosh, maybe one day it might happen."

"We can only dream there's enough time to allow the male of the species to develop." Tosh mocked a wistful sigh.

"Hey, fifty-first century male here!" Jack exclaimed with indignation.

Looking him up and down in silence, both women took a moment to consider how to respond. On completing her assessment Tosh turned to Gwen and drolly stated "Nope. Apparently still simple. Looks like the men of the human race will need more than another three thousand years."

"Perhaps it'll take 'til the end of the Universe," mused Gwen.

Tosh laughed "It's more likely to be the cause of it!" She adopted the sonorous tones of a newsreader. "A male human has officially been recognised as capable of multi-tasking - experts predict the end of everything within 24 hours."

"Better have sex then," Owen stated firmly.

When the others looked at him questioningly, wondering how he'd arrived on that tangent, he continued

"You said the world's going to end by tomorrow. And I can't think of a better way to go out."

"I'm with him," smirked Jack, recognising how Owen was thinking and wanting to encourage either Tosh or Gwen to take the bait. Seeing their confused expressions he continued "go on and explain it Owen."

"It's in the logic of their argument." He waved his hand in the direction of Gwen and Tosh but spoke directly to Jack. "If their convoluted thinking is as perfect as they think, the world's going to be over within the next 24 hours. Either that or Ianto's not male and human or, third option, by their own faultless logic he can't multi-task."

"Love your reasoning Owen. I know Ianto can multi-task, and I definitely know he's human, and oh god is he ever male so, as Tosh told us, sometime in the next 24 hours it all ends. So let's all go together by coming together," Jack quipped with glee as he flicked fingers under his braces to release them from his shoulders. Unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it on Owen's desk, he continued "c'mon girls, let's get this Torchwood Big Bang underway."

As he finished speaking Owen stood at his side and, grinning madly at each other, the two comrades- in-arms continued to undress.

Laughter from the opposite side of the space stopped Jack's hands at the top of his trousers. Alongside him Owen halted with his t-shirt pulled half way up his pale torso; the fly buttons of his jeans already undone, exposing a smooth abdomen. Either he was wearing very tiny briefs or he was an exponent of going commando. The evidence that he was an exponent of manscaping was irrefutable.

"What now?" Owen barked at having his fun disrupted.

Tosh turned to Gwen and feigning indignation remarked "Men! They never quite hear what we say do they?"

"Nope."

"We heard what you said, you're just miffed because we found the flaw in your argument," retorted Owen, flinging his t-shirt onto his desk, where it was joined soon after by Jack's trousers.

"I said official recognition, Owen. My words were a male human has been 'officially' recognised." She waggled her fingers to provide air quotes around the word officially in emphasis of her point.

"Yeah, so what, we're Torchwood, and that's official," Owen snarled back as he pulled his jeans off and threw them on the pile of clothes now covering his desk. Turning to face them he stood in just the briefest of white briefs, his hands on hips and feet apart, brazenly demanding they get started. "Kit off, ladies, and since the multi-talented Teaboy is not here, you'll have to make do with me." The humour of a few moments earlier had been replaced with a sense of challenge as to who would be the first to call time out.

"Owen has a point, we are Torchwood, so I'm not sure I quite follow your line of argument Tosh," queried Jack as he dumped his t-shirt on top of Owen's jeans.

As she ran her eyes over Owen's body Gwen replied "It's not much of a point. You gave me the speech Jack, remember: Torchwood: outside the Government, beyond the police."

Feeling as though he and Owen were perhaps about to lose their argument to some infallibly logical thinking Jack removed his hands from the waistband of his boxer shorts. He looked at Tosh and waited for her to pick up the argument.

She did not disappoint his faith in her reasoning ability. "As you keep telling us Jack, we're a secret organisation. And a secret organisation doesn't give out press releases of official recognition for news broadcasts, now does is it?"

"You know it doesn't."

"So you haven't issued a bulletin confirming Ianto can multi-task?" Tosh pressed her point.

"Well, no, obviously not."

"Then there's no official recognition. Game, Set and Match to the ladies of Torchwood!" She shared a high five with Gwen in celebration of their victory.

"Well," huffed Owen, whose stance was now much less confident, "I think that's just splitting hairs."

"Could be, if there was a hair to split" Gwen slyly remarked to Tosh as she indicated Owen's manscaping with a flick of her head.

Jack also glanced at Owen and noticed his bravado had deflated with the speed of a balloon pricked with a pin. "OK, I'll concede the point but…"

"There's only one butt here at the moment Jack and it's that one!" Tosh pointed in the direction of Owen, whose arse had not yet disappeared into the jeans he was rapidly pulling on. She went on:

"Let me explain it in terms simple enough for men to comprehend: Because we are a secret organisation you can't release a statement about Ianto's abilities, therefore no official recognition of a multi-tasking male human exists. It follows then that the world is not ending in the next twenty-four hours so there is no rationale for a Torchwood Big Bang. The only conclusion is this: you can both put your clothes back on." She smiled sweetly at him before adding "Owen can take his time in finishing that task if he likes."

"Like what you see do you Tosh?" Owen challenged as he re-buttoned his jeans.

"Oh you know this job Owen, stuck in the Hub or out on missions, we don't get much chance to see what's out there."

"Your point being?"

"A girl has to take her pleasures where she finds them, no matter how small."

"Yeah, very funny, Tosh."

As a bemused Jack and a scowling Owen finished putting their clothes back in order, Gwen whispered to Tosh "Go with me on this." On receiving a slightly puzzled nod of agreement she said, in a much larger stage whisper, "Maybe we should just tell them the truth."

"Do you think that wise?" returned Tosh, a little uncertain where Gwen was taking the conversation.

Gwen pretended to consider the question. "Well, perhaps you're right, maybe its best not to say anything."

Still unsure of the game Gwen was playing Tosh gave an open response "No, I trust your judgement, if you think it best, then you should tell them."

Watching Jack and Owen pretending to be disinterested, and seeing that she really had hooked their curiosity, Gwen reeled them in. Adopting a serious, confessional tone she said "Tosh and I were so entertained before because we realised we both think Ianto is a god."

"You think the Teaboy's a god! You have got to be bloody kidding me! Now I know you've lost your marbles. Talk about being a few planets short of a galaxy. Bloody ridiculous nonsense. No way is he a god. If he's a god then I'm…" Owen's explosive reaction was exactly what Gwen had been hoping to catch.

Clutching her hands together at her heart and opening her eyes wide with adoration she shimmied with mock excitement and breathlessly rubbed salt into the wound. "No Owen, it's a fact. Ianto Jones is a god, and we are his number one fan-girls. We worship him!"

"Well since I worship the same god, I must be his number one fan-boy." Jack cut in, all smiles at the thought of telling Ianto that piece of news. "And since there are three of us we could form a new religion. Imagine the daily worship we could have!"

Tosh turned to Gwen and smirked "I'll add it to UNIT's database."

Ignoring her comment Jack continued to stretch the idea in his mind, picturing with delight the annoyed expression Ianto would wear on discovering he'd been turned into some form of idol. Struck by a crazy thought he ignored Owen grumbling beside him and sought the opinion of the two most likely to participate. "Hey, if Ianto is the god of our religion, don't we need a shrine or something so we can worship him properly? Maybe we could put up lots of pictures of him and light candles."

Keeping her fan-girl persona Gwen jumped in with glee, giggling at the ridiculousness of it. "I love it Jack, we could, like, you know, bring flowers and stuff and lay them by the pictures."

Buying into the spirit of their fun, Tosh clapped excitedly and skipped in the air with joy. "Oh Gwen, that's like so cool! And you know what else would be cool? It would be soooo cool to leave him little notes of appreciation!"

As Jack nodded wildly in encouragement of their madness, Gwen swooned and sighed, "Aww, that's so cute Tosh, we like totally have to do this." After a moment's thought she asked, "Okay ... where shall we put it?"

Resisting the urge to tell them exactly where he would like them to put it, Owen drawled "Hang on, you forgot the statue."

"And why would we have a statue, Owen?" Gwen matched his drawling tone.

"Because, P.C. Cooper, that's what makes a shrine! All shrines have statues." He laughed to himself. "How about one that cries all the time? …yeah …a weeping Ianto."

"Ha-ha Owen, very droll." Gwen flipped him the finger. Resuming her fan-girl voice she turned her attention back to Jack, "Go on, it's your idea, where can we put it?"

Jack's eyes grew wide and his smile huge with amusement at the thought of Ianto's fury when he learned of the suggestion he was about to make.

"Well, it has to be accessible, and not get in the way of our work, and we have to prevent Myfanwy from moving in, so I think the best place for it is in the Tourist Office." He grinned at his team and shared his vision of turning Ianto's space into a candlelit chapel. As he layered on the details, Gwen and Tosh bent double with laughter at the ridiculousness of his imagination. The madness that enveloped them ratcheted up with each additional crazy idea. He concluded, breathless with laughter, "And there you have it. Welcome to the Chapel of Saint Ianto."

The only one not amused by the excess of stupidity was Owen. He sniped "Conversations with god himself arranged by appointment."

Noticing the reactions to his barb he said with mock innocence "What! Oh c'mon people, you're thinking too small, let's go the whole hog and have a stall outside. We could sell t-shirts and little statuettes for his devotees to take home."

Tosh returned fire. "Owen, you really are too brilliant! We could have a range of merchandise. Oh my god," she squeed, "we could have stuffed Myfanwys for the kids."

"And a live Weevil kissing booth for the fan-girls," Owen shot back.

"Oh yeah!" Jack agreed with all the enthusiasm Owen had hoped to stifle. "And the statuettes could be action man Ianto dolls. Then people who visit could take little Ianto home to play with and that would spread the word about how amazing and wonderful he is."

"Little Ianto?" giggled Tosh.

Jack grinned "Well …maybe not so little."

"Hey Jack, you forgot gorgeous." Gwen spoke across them. "He's amazing and wonderful and gorgeous. You can't forget that. He's bloody gorgeous and they should know it!" She smiled, tipping Jack a wink.

"Yeah, everyone should know how gorg…hang on…" he paused and composed himself. Looking quizzically at Gwen he queried her. "You're not joking are you? You seriously think Ianto is gorgeous."

Dropping the false persona she responded in her normal voice "Yeah, of course I do. A red-blooded woman over here who is quite capable of a bit of stud-muffin appreciation." She nudged Tosh in the ribs with her elbow, "And, as my friend here said earlier, you'd have to be blind not to see it."

"What! You too, Tosh?" Jack seemed even more surprised by this revelation.

"I think my exact words were 'the thinking woman's crumpet', which I suppose is the same thing." She matched his question with one of her own. "You seem a bit surprised?"

Jack huffed out a breath "I'm more than a bit surprised. Wow …I mean I know he's gorgeous …and I suppose …probably shouldn't be surprised that others …but …but …wow! I never knew you thought…but you've never…" Finally all his confusions came together and he burst out with "But you don't even flirt with him!"

"No Jack, we don't, well…at least not when you're around," Tosh replied cryptically. She began to laugh but on seeing a slight tightening of Jack's smile and a small drooping of his shoulders she stopped. She realised that underneath his confused statements one of Jack's fears had been laid bare and in their fun they'd inadvertently touched on it. Glancing at Gwen and Owen, who both nodded for her to continue, she spoke gently so that he would understand her sincerity.

"Gwen and I do think he's gorgeous Jack, and we also, all three of us including Owen, agree that you are a lucky man. You might not be aware of it, and sometimes it might not seem like it with our jesting – well, Owen's jesting really - but we all believe there's something really good about you two together. He adores you. And we do know you adore him. If you're worried that because we think he's gorgeous we'd make a move on him you can forget it, you wonderfully silly man. This is Ianto we're talking about, and he's a good friend - a great friend – and I wouldn't risk changing that for anything. Especially not when I see how much he means to you and you to him." Realising that she'd given quite a serious speech and Jack was obviously affected by it, she tried to lighten the mood a little without diminishing the sincerity of her words. "And this is a workplace so he's also a colleague."

"And that would be harassment, Sir" Gwen added in perfect mimicry of Ianto's voice.

Everyone chuckled at the well-used and well-loved line but nobody moved or spoke for some time. There was no need, for the exchanged glances and nods and smiles told the story of their having lifted a veil, revealing an understanding of each other deeper than they would previously have been prepared to acknowledge.

"Okay people, let's get a grip before we end up in a group hug." Owen's words might have been his usual snarky choice but his tone carried only affection. Hoping to move the conversation on he asked "What's Ianto doing with the time off?'

Jack shrugged and replied. "He didn't tell me, just asked me if he could leave early."

Owen roared with laughter. "And I'll wager you actually asked him what he was doing and he didn't tell you."

"Of course I did, I asked him all the who, what, when, why and where questions," Jack wryly admitted, knowing the joke would be on him. He continued "And he got that smile he gets, you know the one - the smile that says he really does know everything and you're about to be reminded of it."

"Yeah, I know it, we all know it. So what did he actually say?" Owen, along with both Gwen and Tosh, was now genuinely curious to know what Ianto had said.

He smiled at them all, "Insecurities, Jack, that's all he said, 'Insecurities, Jack', just those two words."

"Smart man, our Teaboy," Owen mused with a chuckle. It wasn't long before the others were chuckling with him, their gentle laughter soon giving way to a more full-bodied version, as the emotional tension that had accumulated in the preceding minutes dispersed.

As they relaxed into comfortable silence Gwen dropped her bombshell. "As a matter of fact, and to answer Owen's question, I happen to know what Ianto is doing this afternoon," she said with a touch of one-up-man-ship.

There was a chorus of "You do?" as three different voices asked the same question.

"I do." Smiling like a cat that had caught a very special mouse she told them, "Ianto is spending his time off with Rhys."

"Bullshit!" exclaimed Owen.

"Really?" queried Tosh.

"What would he be doing with Rhys?" quizzed Jack.

"I think the best word is bonding" said Gwen without thought. On seeing Jack quirk an eyebrow in preparation for some form of innuendo she hurried on. "Rhys and I were out shopping last weekend. We'd done what we had to do and were debating whether to have a drink at a pub when we ran into Ianto. We got chatting and Rhys invited him to come along for a drink and Ianto accepted. And I have to say I was pleased he did, because it pleased Rhys."

"And I'd suggest it wasn't just because it was someone to have a drink with?" hinted Tosh in the hope that Gwen would explain the real story.

"Why else would he be pleased?" asked Owen, genuinely curious despite the curtness of his question.

"Tosh is right. It's a bit of a long story really. It's been different, of course, since Rhys found out all about what I do. I don't know how to explain it. We have this on-going conversation at the moment where he keeps asking about how he can support me, how he can support us. And it isn't excitement about the alien stuff - sure, he jokes about keeping scrap books of my adventures - but I think what he saw that day put that into perspective for him. Like he's really accepted that part of it, you know. No, the thing is he's asked a lot about all of you. He got all sort of funny and caring when I told him that I was the only one who has…well…you know…that I have someone to go home to. He's started suggesting that I ask you over, that we go out for drinks, as though he has to care for the team because I care for you and he cares for me. I've tried to tell him it's not needed but he keeps bringing it up."

Owen's natural impatience was being tested by Gwen's lengthy explanation. "Yeah, yeah, Gwen, so he's a big mother hen. What's that got to do with his meeting up with Ianto?"

"Well, I'm getting to that. You see I'm not sure if the truth is really quite as simple as what he is saying. I think what he's really asking for is an alternative to me, someone else to talk to about Torchwood. Deep down he's frightened of it, I think, or frightened for me. He saw what we had to do, he saw the risks we took. So the bit I'm not sure he understands yet is how we look after each other, how we protect each other. And I think that's why he wants to meet you, or at least get to know one of you. So he can learn more about that and feel reassured."

"That actually sounds reasonable," acknowledged Owen.

"I think it's great," remarked Tosh, "and it will be nice for you that Rhys has someone to talk to about what we do. It takes the pressure off you having to explain it all. And really, who better than Ianto for that."

"Yeah I think so too, Tosh. I think Ianto will be terrific for Rhys. They're both Welsh, they both enjoy a beer, they're both blokes, and I suppose because Rhys isn't emotionally connected with Ianto he'll be able to talk with him more easily than with me. I always let my emotions get in the way and we end up having some doozy fights. Especially about the dangers. Ianto might help stop him being over-protective. And you know how wonderful Ianto is at making complex things simple."

"Which is probably needed," suggested Owen. As Gwen focused her attention on him, unsure of his real meaning, he finished "for the stuff we deal with, I mean. Some of it is pretty out there, even for us, and if any of it needs explaining to an outsider Ianto's the man."

Jack, who had been listening quietly to the explanation of how Rhys and Ianto came to be spending time together, finally contributed to the discussion . Picking up on Owen's remarks he said "That's certainly true, Ianto is good at that stuff. Though I am curious, Gwen. You could have asked me, I'd be more than happy to chat to Rhys and answer any of his questions at any time. You know that."

"I do Jack. And we all know how well that would go," she replied a touch defensively.

Jack knew exactly what she was implying and understood her reasons to some extent, but was intrigued by how she might explain them. "I'm not sure I get your meaning. Just how would it go?"

"Oh come on Jack, you know quite well what I mean. Might be something about the way you two were the day I brought Rhys in here. He was nervous enough as it was, and there's you going all man about the house on him, as though it was an invasion of your bloody territory. Honestly, you were like two bulls in the same field. And I'm not sure I really want to repeat that experience too often." She cast a warning scowl at Owen just as he was about to say something.

"What?" Owen grinned "I was only going to say you are right…you wouldn't want to be the cow in between those two bulls."

"You couldn't resist, could you?" groaned Jack. Keeping the conversation going in an attempt to distract an insulted Gwen from engaging in open warfare with a smirking Owen, he addressed Tosh. "And besides we're not bulls. According to Ianto we're stags. Stags butting antlers was the phrase he used. It's kind of nice, romantic, aristocratic even. I like being a stag, they have such big antlers," he finished with a waggle of his eyebrows, all the while keeping a weather eye on the simmering storm crackling between Gwen and Owen.

"Ianto's no doe," quipped Tosh. "And besides, I thought you'd like being a bull, they have big horns."

Throwing his hand over his mouth in pretence of horrified amazement Jack remarked delightedly, "Well, well, Toshiko Sato does smutty. Who knew! Lots of male animals have big horns Tosh, but nothing compares with a full sized antler."

Observing that Owen continued his smirking at Gwen, and she was still glaring back, Jack recounted to Tosh the full story of how Ianto had revisited their conversation on stags butting antlers after the day was over. How they had argued over Rhys knowing about Torchwood. He finished his tale by conceding "And yeah, I'll admit, I did feel like my territory was being invaded."

That single comment was enough to draw Owen and Gwen back to the conversation. "Now that comes as a real surprise," muttered Owen.

"At last! Thank You!" said Gwen, exploding some of her seething frustration. "Like a pair of one-man armies, you were. I must admit I was waiting for you or Rhys to blow a fuse. When you suggested to Rhys that it was all a bit homo-erotic I thought we might have a spontaneous combustion. And before that, when he fronted you, I thought you'd explode the bloody Rift open."

"So we were a bit too alpha male for you, were we?" Jack challenged Gwen directly and with equal fervour, "I know I can be, and from what I saw of Rhys I don't imagine he's a wallflower. But hey, what did you expect? You know us both, you know our temperaments, you must have known we'd butt heads, that there'd be some sort of energy created. What did you think would happen?"

"We could have run the Hub on the power of the machismo generated," laughed Tosh in an attempt to turn the volume down. It was a futile attempt, for when Gwen had gathered her thoughts she spoke again with passion.

"I don't know! That's the truth of it! But you could have Jack! You had the time. Did you stop to think, just for one minute while you waited, about how confusing I might have found it, or how strange and terrifying it might have been for Rhys? Did you pause and consider how you might, just might, have made it a little easier for me, or for him? Oh no, not you Captain Jack Harkness, oh no. Right from the off, there you were, pawing at the ground like a bloody great bull!"

"That's a stag, not a bull, got it!" Jack snarked back with some venom. Huffing out a sigh he opened his hands and adopted a slightly more placatory manner. "Alright, yes, you've hit some truth. I accept it. So I was territorial, but you were bringing a stranger in to Torchwood. And you didn't ask, not you Gwen Cooper, because you don't ask. No, you demanded that he be allowed in. You know this place, you know the protocols. This is my home. What else was I supposed to be but territorial?"

"More bloody thoughtful, Jack," Gwen snapped straight back.

Jack finally exploded. "More bloody thoughtful! What, just me? Yes, I was territorial, I'll concede that, and yes, okay, I could have done it better, I'll concede that too. But I am not carrying the whole responsibility Gwen, no way! So I'll ask a different question: what did you do to make it easier? Answer me that."

The question broke Gwen's rage, and she sagged against Tosh, her fight leaving her in one shuddering breath. "Nothing. Nothing at all. I didn't do anything. The truth is Jack I was feeling only the relief of being honest with him, and in the confusions of that I wasn't really thinking about how you two would hit it off."

"So what were you thinking about?" Jack asked more quietly.

Closing her eyes and taking several breaths to calm herself, Gwen responded cautiously. "Being perfectly honest I was thinking about myself, not about you two. I was thrilled to be able to show it all off: you guys, Myfanwy, the Hub, even the Weevils, all of it important to me. God, the relief of not having to pretend it didn't exist. And I wanted you to meet my Rhys. So I didn't think. With hindsight, yeah, you're right, of course you are. I'll take my share of the blame. I could have remembered how territorial you both can be. I could have guessed there'd be a bit of a pissing contest and worked out how to handle it. But I didn't." As she finished she felt Tosh's hand come to rest gently on hers, and glancing up she received a small smile of understanding.

Feeling as though they had reached some mutual recognition of their failings, Jack decided to let it go. "Humph," he laughed without much conviction. "A pissing contest! Were we really all that bad? What do you think Tosh, you were an objective observer?"

"Honestly, because I wasn't so personally involved I found it all a bit comic book. Something from a Hollywood action film, all bluff and bluster, complete with its own dewy- eyed heroine." Jabbing Gwen good naturedly with her elbow she smiled at Jack.

"Jack as Captain America, now there's a cinematic treat for us all!" cackled Owen.

"You think Owen? Nice image of yours Tosh, always fancied a crack at Hollywood. Got the jawline for it." Jack began chuckling, and when it became clear that he wasn't just laughing at her words but also at some private memory, Tosh asked him why. He responded with a grin. "Something I just remembered. The truth is I'm not the only Torchwood male who came over all Hollywood that day." Seeing her curious expression he whispered across the room. "I caught Ianto having his own cinematic macho moment just before we had the stags and antlers conversation."

"You didn't! Are you going to tell us what he was doing?" Tosh's curiosity got the better of her discretion.

"Hmm, not sure. Don't know if I should Tosh, you know, twenty-first century boundaries and all."

"That's fine Jack, I understand." Tosh replied before realising he was teasing her. She laughed along with him.

"Gotcha!" he laughed. "So I suppose you'd all like to hear the story?" he asked as three curious faces turned expectantly toward him. Not for the first time did he think of them as his kids – and just like kids, they were able to shift from temper tantrums to innocent curiosity in an instant.

"Well children," he giggled "this is a story of the famous Captain Jack and his faithful sidekick Jones, Ianto Jones."

"Just get on with it, Jack, save the bloody performance for some other time," Owen grumbled.

Jack turned and with a look that was part serious and part comic suggested "Seriously Owen, time to work on the bedside manner, you're upsetting the young ones." He waved at Tosh and Gwen. "Okay, since Owen doesn't want to be entertained, here are the facts. I went up to the armoury just before we left for the factory, and who should I find but Ianto, getting some kit together. Only he wasn't. He was standing in the middle of the armoury, legs akimbo and with a gun in his hand. His outstretched hand I might add. Just as I arrive I hear this deep voice trying out the old 'Make my day' line, complete with appropriate actions. Ianto trying to be all butch and macho Dirty Harry kind of sounded funny, what with the Welsh vowels and all. 'Make my day'," Jack repeated in an attempt at imitating Ianto imitating Eastwood.

As the laughter that greeted his attempt faded, Jack conceded "Nah, Ianto as Dirty Harry doesn't really work, does it? I haven't told him that so don't you say anything. I think he should stick to the Bond thing, that's Ianto's kind of macho, and he looks much better in a suit too. Maybe I'll get him a tuxedo. Or a pair of those pale blue swimming trunks. Oh yeah, there's a thought."

As Jack chuckled at how Ianto would roll his eyes in exasperation at another one of his fantasies, Gwen and Tosh joined him in his laughter. Owen, unusually, fell silent and seemed to draw in on himself. When he noticed their observation of him, he said quietly "He changed the line. At the factory he didn't say 'Make my day', he said something else. 'Pray they survive', that's what he ended up saying. And there was nothing Hollywood about it, let me tell you."

As a hush fell on the space, Jack said softly "Perhaps you best tell us the story Owen."

Owen looked up at his colleagues and his face wore an expression of awe and admiration, his eyes dark and distracted. "I heard him. 'Pray they survive.' He sounded so angry, angrier even than when…well you know."

He stretched his hands out on his knees and appeared to examine them in detail as he recollected the day. He began again. "It was after Rhys had been shot. I was getting the sedative ready and was held up by one of the idiots. Ianto came in and straight out stunned him. No hesitation, he just zapped him. He wasn't furious, just implored me to help you, and told me the creature was free. I grabbed what I needed and followed him and it was like he changed into some hero as we went down that corridor. Last thing I saw was him kicking a door in, and an immediate zap, no argument no discussion. Just the stun gun sizzle. I kept on running back to you guys, but I heard him. It wasn't loud but it echoed: 'Pray they survive'. It was said with hot fury but it was chilling. I could feel it, not just hear it. Seriously it was like some malevolent vibration, and it chilled me, but I got on and did what I had to do. 'Pray they survive': he meant it I think. And it certainly wasn't a movie fantasy, it was real. I haven't really thought about it again until now, but his anger at the thought that you could all have been hurt changed him in those minutes. He was a different man."

"He's never said," Jack commented quietly.

Tosh lifted her head from where it had come to rest on Gwen's shoulder during Owen's recollections, and said "It's Ianto, he wouldn't. He was like that with the cannibals, when he took them on so I could make a run for it. It was the same, he turned white with contained fury that someone would want to hurt me – or us. He wanted to protect me even if it meant -"

"Yeah, that's how it felt for me too, Tosh, he was an enraged protector," Owen cut across her. He looked at his hands again. His look turned speculative and he glanced at Jack. "Maybe it's why your mate Johnny boy didn't injure him like he did the rest of us. I'll bet he backed down in the face of an unhappy Teaboy!" He laughed wryly at how inappropriate that moniker now sounded, and turned again to look Jack full in the face. "And it was the same too, the day he shot me, he was defending you."

"Maybe he was." Jack put a hand on Owen's shoulder. "I do know that it's why Ianto did what he did for Lisa. So maybe, Owen, it's time to stop calling him Teaboy." Owen nodded in acknowledgement of the suggestion.

"Wow," murmured Gwen "Ianto, all the fury of an angry god."

No one laughed at the comparison this time. Jack looked at Gwen and an understanding passed between them. He said quietly "You've made the right choice for Rhys. Ianto is the perfect choice to be there for him."

She silently mouthed a thank you and grasped for something to say.

"Right then, so, Rhys and Ianto are off to bond this afternoon. Can't wait to get home and find out how it went." She faltered, not knowing what to say next to lift the mood.

Sharing her feeling of wanting to lighten the conversation, Owen came to her aid and rapid fired a series of questions. "But why today, why does it have to be this afternoon? Why not after work? What's so important for Teaboy and the Beef Burger that I have to go without coffee?"

"Teaboy and the Beef Burger?" Tosh shot him a look.

Owen shrugged "Can't expect perfect instant change, Tosh. And well, Rhys is a bit of a doughy white bloke, and he did help us with the meat episode so I suppose…I don't know, it just seems to fit. Teaboy and the Beef Burger does kind of go together, like some weird comedy duo."

Storing away her response for future use, and taking her time to smile at each of them individually, Gwen eventually replied to Owen's question. "Rhys and Ianto are playing rugby this afternoon."

Owen snorted "Ianto plays rugby!"

"God, I hate repeating myself. He is Welsh!" Gwen retorted. Seeing that she was required to offer more of an explanation she explained the circumstances. "While we were having our drink Rhys happened to mention that Harwood's is having their annual staff rugby match. Administration and warehouse plays against the drivers, or some such thing. It's this afternoon. Anyway Rhys is captain of the admin team and he was a bit irritable because he was short a player, someone to play on the wing. He asked Ianto to play, and Ianto said he would."

"So Rhys asked Ianto to play this afternoon?" Owen questioned the obvious.

"And Ianto agreed?" asked Tosh, surprised by this new and somewhat unexpected side to Ianto.

"He did, and he did. Ianto's exact words were, if I remember correctly, that he thought he'd enjoy a bit of banging heads and blood without the possibility of a mortal injury."

"Mmmm," moaned Jack with pleasure, "Gotta love the smell of testosterone in the afternoon."

Owen shook his head and spoke with some exasperation. "This conversation seems to get more and more weird, like it's in some parallel universe. Teaboy and the Beef Burger being together is strange enough. Like that's a pairing anyone would have predicted. But playing rugby together? Not even you would dare imagine that one, Jack."

"Well yeah, I suppose it is a little unexpected," mused Jack "... although now you come to mention it there's quite a lot I could imagine." A devilish grin began to form around his lips, and a glimmer of pleasure twinkled in his eyes, as he pictured a roughed up Ianto on the rugby pitch.

"You think they'd like some help with their bonding?" he asked of no-one in particular. Pretending to be oblivious to Gwen's groaned reaction Jack laced his voice with innuendo and continued "Maybe I could catch up with them in the changing rooms. And they'll have huge appetites once they're done so maybe I could help them…umm… make supper?" The lascivious smile he wore as he finished left no doubt as to the meaning he was giving to the word 'supper'.

"Bloody hell, Harkness," Owen spluttered. "Way to put me off my food."

"What! I'm just offering to help them get to know each other."

"I've got some idea of what that warped mind of yours is cooking up, but I don't want the recipe, thanks."

Jack smirked. "It could have been worse. I could have suggested helping with breakfast. Mmmm, a double serve of hot Welsh sausage." He leered at Owen, and smacked his lips together in a sign of appreciation at the thought of such a tasty meal.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Gwen stand up and move back to her desk. She appeared to be foraging for something. Feeling as though he may have pushed the boundaries a little too personally Jack called out an apology "Sorry Gwen, that was probably going too far, even for me."

As she came back her attention was on her phone, the rapid movement of her thumbs suggesting she was sending someone a message. She lifted her head a moment or two later, as though she had just processed Jack's apology.

"What? Oh, sorry. No, no, it's all okay. It's all in your imagination anyway, and I'm kind of used to you now. Just remembered I had to text Rhys about my supper. Thought he might arrange to get a side dish to serve with main course, and since he's with Ianto…" she let her voice trail off to allow the implication of her words to settle.

Jack's mouth fell open in surprise as he attempted to sort his reaction to her response. He was unable to determine if his surprise at Gwen's matching his innuendo was greater than his displeasure at Ianto being considered a side dish for 'supper' with Gwen and Rhys. Before he could form a clear response Owen chimed in. His usual tone of sarcasm had returned.

"I knew it. A beef burger on its own doesn't satisfy."

"Keeps me very satisfyingly nourished," retorted Gwen, staring pointedly at him. "And I've come to appreciate home cooking, it really is so much more substantial than takeaway. I got tired of that very quickly."

Before Owen could respond to the implied challenge, their conversation was interrupted by a loud and very recognisable cough. One designed to grab their attention. They turned to find Ianto standing on the gangway a few yards away. Silence fell as they all wondered just how long he'd been standing there. Coming together in the middle of the workspace they stared at him, they stared long enough for Ianto to roll his eyes at their scrutiny.

"Something wrong or am I'm missing something?"

"Noooo, Ianto, I can honestly say you're not missing anything at all, definitely not," Gwen replied, her eyes roaming with considerable appreciation over the form of the man standing before them.

Suppressing a small cough and swallowing with difficulty, Tosh flushed slightly and added "I have to agree Ianto, there's absolutely nothing wrong at all."

Owen noticed that Jack had not said anything and chancing a sideways glance he saw a pair of eyes agog with amazement, a brow furrowed with confused wonder, and a jaw heading in the direction of the floor. Reaching across to his desk he located an old cleaning rag and shoving it at Jack he caustically remarked:

"Wipe your mouth before the drool stains your shirt."

After doing so in something of a haze, Jack returned his full attention to Ianto and stuttered out "I thought you'd gone."

"I'm going now. Just had a few things to finish up." Ianto smiled at them all. "The Weevil cages are clean and the inhabitants fed. I've restocked the field kits and the armoury is…well…armed. I've recharged all the stun guns, and made sure the latest version of Weevil spray is in all kits. The shooting range has a fresh set of targets and the Tourist Office a fresh set of brochures. I've watered the hot house plants and ensured the SUV has a full tank of petrol. All of yesterday's reports have been filed with cross referencing on the system and last week's Rift tech has been appropriately sorted, catalogued, and shielded. Myfanwy's been fed and Jubilee will be delivering the pizzas I've ordered for your dinner around 6 o'clock. I've also ordered you coleslaw. Stack the boxes on the coffee table when you're done because I've emptied all the bins. Your field clothes from yesterday have been washed and are in the dryers, a separate one for each of you so your stuff doesn't get mixed. I'll fold it all tomorrow morning after I've picked up the dry cleaning on the way in. That's it. Don't think I've forgotten anything. Oh yes," he smiled at them. "I've cleaned the kitchen sink."

Leaning backwards Tosh threw a quiet comment behind the backs of Gwen and Jack to Owen, "Oi, ye of little faith. What do you say now?"

Owen responded in a genuinely awed manner "Consider me a convert."

Jack too was evidently impressed "Wow Ianto, that's quite a list, you're quite the remarkable talent."

Seeing Ianto grin at the implied double-meaning in Jack's compliment, Owen decided to venture across thin ice by tentatively asking "You couldn't spare a few minutes to make a coffee, could you?"

Ianto's smile was broad and knowing and his otherwise deadpan delivery had the faintest trace of enjoyment.

"Sorry. Did I forget to mention that I've made coffee sufficient for the afternoon and evening? How remiss of me. It's stored in the thermal cups I found in the archives so it will stay hot and not become bitter. Teaspoons are in the drawer to the left of the sink. Sugar is in the bowl on the bench and your different preferred milks are all in the fridge. I would of course have added those for you but the cups work best on straight black coffee so I'm afraid you'll have to add it yourselves. And there we are, everything's now covered. I'll be off. See you all tomorrow."

"Not quite yet, Ianto." In an attempt to regain control of the situation Jack folded his arms across his chest in his best 'please explain' manner and attempted to adopt a stern voice. "I think you've left something off your list."

He looked Ianto up and down, leaving no doubt as to the omission.

"Ah yes. Well, as you all seem to have noticed, I also found time to get changed."

And he had. Gone were the impeccably tailored suit, the perfectly starched and ironed red shirt, and the not to be overlooked waistcoat. Gone too were the classically knotted silk tie and the fastidiously buffed shoes. Gone, it seemed, was the stopwatch. Completely gone was the only costume everyone agreed defined Ianto Jones.

In its place: a form defining midnight blue track suit, a tautly stretched v-necked white t-shirt, and unscuffed black sneakers. Blue-black shadows of afternoon stubble, a glimpse of black chest hair above the v-neck collar, and a broad white smile almost completed the look. A pair of twinkling blue eyes and some mussed up black hair finally brought together the new costume. A costume that would, in the future, re-write the definition of Ianto Jones.

"It's quite a big change, Ianto," Jack remarked, as he maintained his stiff demeanour.

"Bit difficult to play rugby in a suit, Sir," Ianto replied.

"True, perhaps you have a point." It was becoming harder for Jack to put his words together.

"A very large point," murmured Gwen. Half turning her body toward Tosh, and leaning in close to her ear she asked, "Have you noticed what's on for lunch?"

Covering her mouth with a fist as she tried not to giggle, Tosh whispered back, "An all you can eat buffet indeed."

"Yep, more like a banquet really," Gwen returned.

"But which dish would you start on?" asked Tosh with a delighted smile. "Hypothetically, of course."

After a moment of consideration of Ianto, Gwen whispered. "Would it matter? I do think we need to add to our list of virtues."

"I'll be adding to the database," Tosh assured her.

Struggling to keep hold of his response to an Ianto equipped for athletic sport, Jack became aware of the nature of the whispering alongside him. He cast what he hoped was a reproving look at Gwen and Tosh and said "It would appear Jones, Ianto Jones, your new look is having quite an impact on your colleagues."

With a quirk of an eyebrow Ianto flashed Tosh and Gwen his knowing smile and bounced the ball right back. "Is it indeed? No need for fifty-first century pheromones then."

Taken aback by the rapidity of the response Jack sought for a way to escape. The look of disbelief on Owen's face as he stared at Ianto was the way out he needed. "I also happen to notice that someone else is unusually quiet. Congratulations Ianto, you've managed to silence Owen."

"I'll tick it off the bucket list then, shall I Sir? That would be Item number twenty three: make Owen speechless."

"Well, what would you like me to say?" a goaded Owen snorted.

"Nothing, Owen, which was precisely my point." Ianto closed the trap with a grin.

Tosh giggled slyly "But Owen, as his doctor you must have some opinion of how your patient looks. Are you sure you don't want to share it with us?"

"I'll pass on that, thanks," Owen replied without looking at her.

Fully aware of what she was doing, Tosh targeted Owen's weak spot. "Come on, humour us. Please give us the benefit of your professional expertise, it would be valued."

"Well, since you put it that way, yeah…as his doctor I can safely say he does look fit and healthy," Owen grudgingly responded. "That's just a professional opinion of course."

Jack gestured in Ianto's direction as though he was displaying a mannequin in a store window, and found it hard not to explode.

"Bugger the healthy bit Owen, why can't you just say he looks fit?"

"What…and swoon like you lot of fan-girls. Not a chance!" Owen retorted.

"Man up Harper, and grow some balls," Gwen shot back "What is it with twenty-first century men that you can't say another man is good looking or handsome?"

"Or HOT!" gushed Jack, finally releasing his pent-up desire to speak the one thought on his mind.

"Okay Owen, you can do this, say it: 'Ianto is gorgeous'…go on…" Tosh challenged.

"All right, all right." Owen threw his hands up as a concession of defeat. "Okay, I agree. Ianto Jones is gorgeous. A true god amongst men. There, I've said it. Happy now?"

"Oh yeah." Jack grinned and, pressing the point to its natural conclusion, he whispered "You want to join us for breakfast?"

"Err, still standing over here…" Ianto's exasperated wave returned their attention to him. He pulled his sleeve up over his wrist and checked the watch he was wearing. "Must go. Being picked up in…ah…just under five minutes."

"I doubt it will take that long," mumbled Gwen without thinking. As she realised the implication of her words she furiously tried to explain "No, I didn't mean it like that. Oh I'm sorry Ianto I wasn't thinking. No, I just meant Rhys will be early, he always comes early." Her eyes widened at the spluttering laughter of her colleagues.

"Best if you don't continue, Gwen," Ianto suggested before reaching down to pick up his kit bag. "Away I go, rugby calls!" He sounded genuinely excited at the prospect.

"Mad bloody fool," Owen mumbled. "What could possibly be enjoyable about squelching through the mud in the pouring rain chasing after men in shorts to grab a ball?"

"You have to ask?" snorted Jack.

"And here I thought Owen would be a natural for it," Ianto innocently reflected.

"And why would that be, Ianto?" Owen grumbled, still irritated by the confession the team had extracted.

The innocence of Ianto's expression proved to be deceptive. "Because a successful rugby player scores by playing well with his team mates."

"Ouch," groaned Owen, though he did smile. "Go on, Ianto, bugger off then."

Giving Tosh and Gwen a quick wink, and Jack a bemused smile, Ianto turned and made his way toward the exit. As if bound together by their responses to this different Ianto, the team moved as one down the gangway to follow him.

"Oh, and Jack," Ianto tossed over his shoulder as he walked to the cog door. "Since I'll be sharing a shower with Rhys I'll get you an answer to that question you asked me the other week."

Snapping out of her admiration of the rear view of the departing Ianto, Gwen's head swiveled in time to catch Jack looking as though he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. She swiveled back just as Ianto stepped through the now open door.

"And exactly what question was that?" she demanded.

Turning to face them all, he gave her a look of amusement before focusing a 'gotcha' grin on Jack.

"In simple terms: which stag do I think has the biggest antler? What some might call a stiff competition."

Ianto's cackling laughter faded behind the door as it rolled closed, leaving the Hub in total silence once more.

* * *

**Additional Authors Note: **Coming up in Chapter Two are naked Rhys and naked Ianto having a long conversation while sitting/lying/sprawling in the sauna at the rugby club.


	2. Chapter 2: Sweaty Confessional

**Author's Note: **Rhys and Ianto together is an idea that has interested me for some time: what would they say, how would they be with each other? Putting them together, naked, in a rugby club changing room seemed like a good idea – lots of opportunities for smutty innuendo. Then I began to write and things went in a different direction (and no, not THAT direction.) So what we have is something more serious, less overtly bantering than Chapter 1. It's also longer. Sorry! But it is Rhys the Rant and protective Ianto together so perhaps that's not surprising. I've also assumed, from Gwen's comment at her wedding reception about 'no secrets in this marriage', that she and Rhys talked frankly about Torchwood and Jack in the aftermath of Meat. Anyway, enough justification. I hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Torchwood or the characters – and so I make no money from this. BBC/Starz do, and it seems they've disclaimed ownership too. Which is probably wise given what they did to Torchwood in Miracle Day – Jack's blood makes Rex immortal? Really? Pay attention to your own canon RTD.

**Gratitude: **To those who added this story to their Favorites or Follows : you made it worthwhile and I sincerely thank you; that you did so gives me real delight and pleasure and an incentive to continue. For those who took the time to review: many special thanks, the response was beyond anything I could have hoped for and I'm delighted and thrilled. Thank you.

**Enormous Gratitude: **I struggled with this chapter for a long time, kept hitting brick walls and road blocks. And through it all my beta, Cerih, sat quietly on my shoulder: reassuring me, challenging me and most of all calming my insecurities. Without that support there would not be this. Thank you Cerih, this is for you.

* * *

**Sweaty Confessional**

"Oi, Ianto!" Rhys Williams bellowed across the rain sodden rugby pitch as he untied protective padding from around the goal posts. "Couldn't give us a hand collecting up the field gear, could you, mate?"

The annual staff rugby match of Harwood's Haulage, which pitched administration and warehouse staff against the haulage drivers, had concluded five minutes previously. All that remained to do was collect assorted equipment and rubbish from around the ground. Most of the players had already sought refuge from the rain by retreating to the changing rooms in search of a hot shower.

"Not a problem, Rhys," Ianto yelled back through the rain before changing course and, instead of continuing toward the changing rooms, he made his way to the opposite end of the pitch.

Returning with the padding and boundary ropes from his end of the field he encountered Rhys in the storage room, and said, "There's still the first aid kit, the water bottles and some rubbish to collect."

"Bloody typical, that lot are happy to play the game, but they're never around when the work needs doing," Rhys grumbled, "and I'll bet they use all the hot water. Bloody great that'll be, do the work and get a cold shower as a reward."

Ianto slapped him on the back and replied with a laugh, "Come on, Rhys, what's a little rain to us locals, get it done and we can get under a hot shower." He dashed back out into the rain, with Rhys tagging behind and together they collected the last of the equipment and cleared the remaining rubbish.

The match had been played in what Ianto considered to be perfect conditions for rugby: squally and wet and muddy. It had been a hard physical game and Ianto had reveled in the sense of adrenalin and energy it had created. He'd realised that he was feeling exhilarated from the opportunity it had provided to indulge in rough physical competition without an accompanying mortal threat. For a few hours he'd had the opportunity to forget Torchwood and its dangers, and to enjoy being a man playing a sport he loved, despite the accompanying battering and bruising. He said as much to Rhys as they finished stowing all the gear and made their way to the changing rooms.

Apart from a few stragglers in the final stages of dressing, the rooms were almost empty. One of those remaining called out to them, "Sorry, Rhys, these buggers used all the hot water. Looks like it's a cold shower for you two."

"What did I bloody say, a freezing shower, that's all I need," Rhys moaned.

Ianto was about to respond when a gruff voice behind them called out, "It should be okay in a while, Rhys, if you've got some time." They turned to see the clubhouse caretaker coming toward them. As he reached them he continued, "Plus the sauna's been on for a while. I put it on thinking you folk might appreciate the warmth but everybody just seems to want to get home. Seems a pity to waste it."

"Sounds like a good idea to me," replied Rhys. He turned to Ianto. "Gwen's working late so I don't have to rush off. We could do that instead of going to the pub for that drink, what do you think?"

"If it means you lose the grumpiness, I'm all for it," joked Ianto in agreement.

"Good lads, you'll have to rinse the mud off first, though," the caretaker laughed, "so you'll still have to have a bit of a cold shower. And I'll leave you my key, Rhys. Lock up when you're done and drop the key in the usual spot."

"Will do, and thanks, Sid, you've been a great help today." With a nod, the caretaker left them. Looking around they noticed that the last straggler was about to follow him out the door. Shedding their mud covered gear quickly they dashed under the showers, and braced themselves for the freezing water. Neither of them was tempted to linger, and they stayed just long enough to get rid of the mud.

"This is too bloody cold for me, so come on then, bender boy, let's go thaw out," joked Rhys as he cleared the last of the mud away, in an attempt at showing he was no longer grumpy and his blokey good spirits had returned.

Starting a little at the choice of phrasing Ianto followed Rhys to the sauna, saying as he walked, and with an edge to his voice, "Not bender, Rhys, just … it's Jack, just Jack, okay?"

"Not men in general, then?" Rhys seemed genuinely puzzled as he pulled the door open.

Realising that Rhys's confusion was honest and his comment not malicious, Ianto replied more peaceably as they entered the warmth, "It hasn't been, no. Jack's the one and only, to date."

"Well I won't deny that's a relief," Rhys mumbled, as he removed his towel and sprawled face down on an upper level bench nearest the door, his head coming to rest on his folded arms.

Ianto took a moment to quizzically raise an eyebrow at him. Unhitching his towel from his waist and laying it on the bench on the opposite side of the sauna, he replied with a trace of challenge in his voice, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

Rhys waved his hand at him and then around the sauna. "You know: you, me, sauna, naked, might be a bit uncomfortable if you were completely bender."

"Why? Might you be tempted to dabble in something new?" Ianto began to chuckle as he settled face up on his towel, "Well, I presume it would be new, that is!" His chuckle broke into a full laugh on noticing a small scowl pass across Rhys's face. "I'm not serious, mate. It's a funny thing about being around Jack and Torchwood, your boundaries get expanded. Kind of get used to all sorts of possibilities."

"Maybe in your world, but it's not like that in my world," Rhys replied with sincerity, "just an ordinary average bloke, I mean I know Cardiff has its share of alternative relationships and people live differently to me, but it's a different world to the one I live in. Or it was, before Gwen met you guys."

Ianto shrugged and replied, "You're making it sound a bit like aliens really. You know they're probably out there but as long as they're not on your planet you can pretend they don't exist. Bit weird when you discover they're here in Cardiff living amongst you."

"Whoa, easy on, mate. I wasn't meaning it like that. Just I've had no cause to stretch my boundaries until now, I suppose."

"Yeah, good old twentieth century boundaries, we grew up with them and they tend to stick. And still with us in the twenty-first century." Ianto grew serious and sitting up he said, "Look, Rhys, if this is seriously making you uncomfortable, this - what did you call it: you, me, sauna, naked - we can risk a cold shower, get dressed and go find a beer or something."

Rhys acknowledged the genuine nature of Ianto's suggestion by sitting up and slumping back against the wall. He took a long breath and let it out slowly before he began to speak, "Shit no, Ianto. I'm sorry, I'm screwing this up. Typical me, trying too hard to cover the fact I really am bloody nervous."

Noticing the brief flicker of Ianto's brow he hurried on, "Not about you, or you and Jack. It really doesn't bother me. This doesn't bother me." He waved a hand around the small space. "Nah, it's just …it's Torchwood …there's too much I want to say, and so much to ask."

He looked away and ran his hands through his hair in frustration at himself. "And I don't know how to start or where, or if you're even interested in listening. And besides, the heat is good."

"It is that," Ianto replied and waited for Rhys to continue. When he didn't respond Ianto added, "and I'm happy to listen - who knows, I may even say something."

Recognising the encouragement, Rhys asked, "I suppose you suspected I had more than rugby on the agenda?"

Ianto grinned and winked. "Yep, made my heart flutter in anticipation."

"Oi, I hope that's all that's fluttering," Rhys shot back with slight exasperation.

Ianto laughed. "It is. Sorry to disappoint but no rush of blood, not happening."

"Geez, Ianto, I'm trying to be serious here," Rhys voiced a trace of frustration at Ianto's continuing teasing, "and I want to get to know you because I think you can help me understand this life Gwen's dragged me into."

"Okay, sorry, maybe it's my way of covering my own nervousness," Ianto admitted, "and this is unprecedented; a Torchwood staff member talking about Torchwood with the partner of a colleague."

"So you're worried about pillow talk revelations, that you'll say something that will get back to Gwen?"

"Partly that, yeah." He thought for a minute. "So given where we are, why don't we say rugby club rules apply?"

"What's said in the clubrooms stays in the clubrooms? Sounds good to me," agreed Rhys as he held out his hand to seal the agreement. "Let the first meeting of the Torchwood Husbands' Naked Bonding Club begin."

"Use that term around Jack and it'll be the last meeting," Ianto replied with a grin, taking the offered hand, "and the floor is yours, Mr Chairman. Why don't you begin with what you already know?"

Releasing their hands they sat back, and Rhys began, "Gwen has told me quite a bit, we've had days of it in fact. That trip to Paris we had the other weekend, it was supposed to be a romantic getaway but it didn't quite turn out like that."

"No? I'm surprised because Gwen said she had a great time."

With a small sigh Rhys described the weekend, "Don't get me wrong it was great, but it became a debrief on her real life with Torchwood in the last year and a bit. So no museums, no Eiffel Tower, just lots of walking and talking, discussions over coffee, and sitting around in the room with her filling me in, and me asking lots of questions."

"But you must have felt better, relieved perhaps, after all that? I imagine there were some surprises in there," suggested Ianto, trying to gauge how Rhys felt now about Torchwood.

"You mean like her boss is a time-travelling man from the fifty-first century?" Rhys quipped before laughing at the look of astonishment on Ianto's face. "I did say there was lots of talking! And the truth is: it was worth giving up all the sightseeing to be able to get to a point at the end of it where I could say to myself I still want to spend the rest of my life with this woman."

At seeing a questioning flash pass across Ianto's face, Rhys acknowledged his new reality. "Yeah, mate, I know. But we don't know it for certain, and we're getting married - we're going to have kids, buy a house, grow old together, grand-kids, trips abroad. The whole boundaried box and dice. I get that it's changed but I want all that with her, and honestly, sometimes I don't know what to do with my anger at her for choosing to join you lot."

"Perhaps play more rugby," proposed Ianto lightly as he stretched and lay face down on his towel. The quirk of his eyebrow suggested he understood and there was little he could say to allay any of that particular anger.

The remark brought the intended result, as Rhys slumped back against the wall and laughed softly. "Yeah, maybe I should, a bit more banging heads and hard tackles could work wonders."

As Ianto began to chuckle he managed to say around his laughter, "Don't mention hard tackles to Jack or you'll be in a stiff competition before you know it."

With an overly dramatic sigh Rhys fell back into a horizontal position on his towel and groaned, "That is a visual I do not need! No way would my tackle be hard anywhere near Jack Harkness."

"And here I hoped to answer the big question."

"And exactly what question was that?"

"That's exactly what Gwen asked," Ianto noted, before relating his view of the first meeting between Jack and Rhys, and of its likeness to stags butting antlers. As he listened with amusement Rhys began to chuckle, and by the story's end he was guffawing with mirth.

"Did it really look like that?" Rolling over onto his side and propping his head on his hand, Rhys asked the question with genuine curiosity.

"I was looking for a tape measure, Tosh wanted to sell popcorn, and I believe Owen was humming Macho Man," Ianto replied, "so stags butting antlers about sums it up."

"Fair call then," Rhys acknowledged with a laugh, "and there is something about Jack Harkness that makes me want to lock horns."

"Leaving that alone and moving on," remarked Ianto with dryness, "maybe that's why it's me, rather than Jack, having this conversation with you."

"Oh yeah, imagine how well that would go!" exclaimed Rhys, "I can tell you one thing: it wouldn't be happening in here."

"Probably just as well, too small a space, I doubt it could contain the testosterone," Ianto mused.

"Is he always like that? I mean you didn't exactly refute the suggestion that he can show off."

"He wasn't alone in that, Mr Rhys the Rant," Ianto retorted and it was his turn to laugh at the astonishment created by a quick comment. "You're not the only one who's listened to Gwen!"

"Another fair call," conceded an abashed Rhys, "Gwen gets bit annoyed with me sometimes, especially if we're out in public."

"I'm sort of with her, although it can be really funny too. Jack does play it up for some people and it's always interesting to see their reactions." He laughed at a particular memory, "We were out on a date -" Rhys cut across him:

"A date…woo hoo…lucky you," he wryly muttered, "I wish I could have one of those."

"I'm presuming not with Jack," came the droll response.

Rhys laughed warmly. "Not even if it was the end of the universe. I meant a date with Gwen, she's either busy with you lot or tired out and just wants a night in. These days it's bloody difficult to plan, and if we do get out sure enough the blasted phone goes off and she's gone, leaving me with a half-finished meal and the bill. Makes me envious of how much time you get to spend with Jack."

Ianto laughed a full laugh. "Yeah, the perfect romantic date, wrestling a sewage covered Weevil into the back of the SUV, or searching through rubbish bins in an office for a bomb, real romantic that is! It'd be nice to have the full dinner and movie thing again without interruption."

"Couldn't agree more!" Rhys concurred before suggesting, "so, if you're doing romantic dating, you must be getting serious about Jack, obviously more than a part-time shag."

Ianto gave him a look that was part humour and part warning. "Owen called it that once. I shot him." Rolling over onto his back he stretched his arms over his head and reached backwards toward the wall behind him. Extending his legs in the opposite direction and flexing his toes, he enjoyed the relaxing effects of a full body stretch while he waited for Rhys to respond.

"You shot him!"

"Yep." Ianto brought his right arm over his head and reached for his right leg. Bending it at the knee he brought his thigh to rest on his chest, feeling a soothing stretch in his hamstring muscle.

"But you could have killed him!"

"Yep." Lowering his leg back to rest on the bench, Ianto performed the same stretch for his left thigh, again feeling the release of tension in his muscles.

"Obviously you didn't."

"Nope, shot him in the shoulder instead," came the casual reply as Ianto lowered his left leg, before bringing both thighs toward his chest, gently releasing the soreness that had accumulated in his lower back during the match.

Noticing Rhys's wide eyed expression Ianto turned his head to look fully at him and said, "I could have killed him, my aim's certainly true enough, but I didn't want to; far too much paperwork and we'd need to find a new doctor."

"Now I know you're not serious," relaxing back, Rhys began to chuckle.

Ianto fixed him in place with a raise of his eyebrows, and his chuckling stopped.

"You are bloody serious. About shooting him, I mean."

"Serious about the paperwork too, you wouldn't believe the bother a death can create," Ianto dryly replied as he lowered his legs and arms back into a fully stretched position.

"I can't work out if you're serious or not," responded Rhys, now genuinely confused.

"I am serious, I did shoot him and I do hate the paperwork," replied Ianto with a roll of his eyes.

"Okay, but shooting him for calling it a part-time shag? Bit excessive, don't you think?"

"He was also about to do something I knew Jack wouldn't want him to do." Ianto brought his arms down and folding them he let his head rest on them.

"So when you don't like what someone's doing you shoot them! Geez, remind me not to underestimate you," commented Rhys with some astonishment.

"People often do, Rhys, and sometimes I have to remind them why they shouldn't."

"I'd best tread carefully then," Rhys replied, before chuckling, "fortunately for me, you've got no pockets at the moment!"

"Lucky you indeed," Ianto agreed and then returned the conversation to its main purpose. "So what else are you curious about?"

Rhys took a moment to think, "There was an odd thing Gwen said about Jack, she said he has these really strong pheromones. Is that true?" There was an element of hopefulness in the way Rhys asked the question.

"Ah yes." Ianto shook his head and laughed. "The famous fifty-first century pheromones."

Puzzled by the response Rhys tried to explain his curiosity, "She said he jokes about them as though they're some sort of attraction magnet and she kind of wondered if your getting involved with Jack was a reaction to the pheromones."

"Nope, not the pheromones, just Jack," replied a bemused Ianto.

"But maybe it is the special pheromones you can't resist! I mean it is the first time you've been involved with a man. So it has to be something," Rhys continued with persistence.

Ianto turned his head and smiled. "It isn't the pheromones, Rhys: it's just him, it's simply the man himself."

"So you can't blame the pheromones?"

"Why would I want to blame something, there's no reason to be blaming anyone or anything. It happened, I was attracted to him and it turns out it was mutual, there's nothing to blame anyone for in that."

"Sorry," apologised Rhys, "wrong choice of word, but do you think it was the pheromones?"

As if wiping away the residue of such an influence Ianto ran his hands down his legs and flicked away the sheen of sweat that had accumulated. He performed the same clearing action on his arms. He swung his body into a sitting position and brought his hands to rest on the bench on either side of his legs. Leaning forward slightly he finally responded, "No, I don't, nor would I want to make it be just that. If I did I'd be pretending the attraction isn't real, and it most definitely is real. So it's not as simple as 'oh it's just the chemicals', we're both too complex and human for that."

"Not the pheromones, okay," observed Rhys somewhat ruefully.

"Ahh," said Ianto after a little as he began to understand what might lie beneath Rhys's persistence in focusing on his particular line of questioning. "You wouldn't be worried about the impact of those pheromones on Gwen perhaps?"

"A bit, yeah…okay, yes of course," Rhys conceded. "The man's got Hollywood looks and fifty-first century genetics."

"Not helped by the jawline." Ianto laughed as he once more lay back.

"Yeah, he is handsome, that can't be denied by anyone with a working pair of eyes," agreed Rhys , matching Ianto's laugh, "but, bloody hell, Ianto, how am I supposed to compete with that, being I'm just you're average twenty-first century Welshman?"

Chuckling at his blatant stirring of Rhys's insecurities Ianto dramatically ran his eyes over Rhys's body before remarking slyly, "You're not too bad, and from what I can see, the important bits are certainly above average."

"Geez, thanks for that, but not enough above average to give you the rush. Should be bloody offended, I should," Rhys returned in kind.

"And there's the old rock and a hard place conundrum," muttered Ianto.

Rhys turned his head and looked at Ianto quizzically for a few moments before his expression altered, reflecting his understanding of Ianto's meaning, and he laughed, "Ahh yeah, I see. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. I'm nervous if you do get a blood rush and I'm offended that you don't, so you're in a no win position."

"That's about the size of it, no pun intended, and probably best we don't discuss positions," quipped Ianto in response and their good humoured chuckling found further cause for continuing.

After a little, as their laughter settled, Rhys waggled his eyebrows and asked, "So, who do you think would win a stiff competition?"

Playing a straight bat Ianto drove the ball straight back. "Dunno Rhys …probably needs harder tackling to decide." They both groaned at the thought before Rhys remarked, "I left myself wide open for that one."

"A wide open Rhys in a stiff competition, now that's an image sure to get the blood rushing," came the dry reply.

"Bugger off, mate, you're too bloody quick for me. And my brain already needs scouring from the image of Harkness's hard tackle so no need to make it worse."

"Point taken, but you needn't worry - Jack may be a fifty- first century man, but you and I, well we're Welsh, we have our own genetic advantage."

"National symbol: the leek!" guffawed Rhys, and they laughed together with the shared camaraderie of men proud of their nationality, before he added, "thank god for that eh, wouldn't want to be some under-slung Englishman."

"Indeed not," Ianto cautiously replied.

As the last of the exchange hung in the air with unspoken implication, Rhys raised himself and swung his legs off the bench. Stepping down on to the floor, he stretched his arms wide, and shook himself like a wet dog before walking to the heating element. Scooping a ladle of water from the wooden bucket he tipped it onto the hot stones, releasing a sizzle of steam. He repeated the action, and then stood still, feeling the immediate effect of the increase in heat.

Ianto waited in silence for Rhys to pick up and continue the conversation, wondering in which direction he would take it.

After a minute's thought, Rhys turned to face Ianto, saying as he did, "I know about Owen."

"Thought you might have, given the comment," Ianto said and then allowed the silence to provide the prompt for Rhys to continue. Taking the hint Rhys went on, "It wasn't a total surprise, although she probably could have picked a better place to tell me than a bistro in Paris."

"I imagine that killed the romantic dinner idea," mused Ianto.

"It did for a bit, but at the time and after everything else she'd told me it seemed, I dunno, maybe insignificant. It was a while ago, and it had stopped. Doesn't mean it didn't upset me because it did, but I listened and I could kind of understand the why, if not the who. And it wasn't the worst of the secrets she'd been keeping."

"That honour going to…?"

"The whole bloody thing really, Torchwood, the job, aliens, the fact she wasn't working for Special Ops like she'd said. The fact she wasn't just doing paperwork and filing, but she was armed, and dealing with dangerous situations. All of it I suppose. So saying she'd had an affair with someone at work, well that was just another bit of madness in the whole mad thing."

"It is mad," Ianto acknowledged with a laugh.

Wearing a sheepish grin as he sat back on his towel, Rhys made an admission, "Funny thing is, Ianto, when she told me who it was with I was genuinely surprised."

"Because it was Owen? Yeah, it's reason enough for surprise," Ianto snarked.

Rhys laughed a little and then spoke with some trepidation, "Honestly, I was surprised because I presumed it had been with Jack."

"I guessed you might, given your interest in the pheromones, and they do have a weird kind of relationship," Ianto acknowledged the reason for Rhys's nervousness.

"You've noticed it?"

"Hard not to," Ianto sardonically replied.

"I guess so. It worried me, you know, her admiration of him. Every time she mentioned him: 'Jack does this' …'Jack says that' …the wide-eyed look, the smiles she got when she talked about him, it did get me worried. And there was a lot of it. Took me a while to realise that maybe it wasn't that kind of attraction, it was like she had a crush on him – like a schoolgirl might have," Rhys concluded his explanation, "So I realised in the end she thinks he's a bit of a hero, a bit of a god."

"I'll build a shrine." Ianto laughed genuinely at the idea, imagining how it would delight Jack.

Rhys scrutinised him for a moment, as if appraising his humour, before inhaling deeply. On his exhale he said quietly:

"Kind of appropriate in the circumstances, don't you think? Maybe you should create a new religion. 'Worship the Resurrection Man: comes back from the dead after three days.' There is a precedent for it." The laugh Rhys gave was devoid of humour.

Ianto took a moment to absorb the implications of what Rhys had acknowledged, before saying simply, "Gwen told you."

"I'm not sure she intended to, it sort of came out as an aside at first – she was telling me about how she got involved with Torchwood, and something she said had me ask what she meant. It went from there," Rhys offered by way of explanation, hoping to convince Ianto that the revelation had not been intentional.

"I imagine that was a bit of a surprise for you, and tough for her."

"Of everything she told me, it was the closest I saw Gwen come to falling apart." Rhys closed his eyes as if to retrieve the exact memory of the moment. When he opened them again he began to speak in a voice full of emotion. "Telling me that was awful for her. I can't forget her words, 'Jack can't die, Rhys, he can't die. You can kill him, but he gets back up again. Kill him again and he'll get back up again - again and again and again.'"

"So I said to her 'he's immortal then' and she lost it. In a bloody Paris park. She was punching me she was, both fists, and shouting at me: 'No, that's the bloody point, Rhys, he does die. An immortal can't die, but he can. He does. He dies over and over. And every time, he comes back and lives again.' She was shaking and crying and somehow shattered."

He paused for a moment and then quietly said, "And I got it. Not only does he die repeatedly, but he comes back to life repeatedly. He could go on doing that forever. And how do you do that? We have to make the most of one life, there's an incentive to do it well, but what incentive does someone like Jack have?"

A small shifting of position and a slight tensing of limbs suggested Ianto found the subject a sensitive one. "I haven't really thought about it like that before. I suppose it's easy to say he's got Torchwood and the purpose that provides. Who knows? I imagine he'll do what you've suggested the rest of us do -make the most of life."

Caught up in his speculations, Rhys failed to notice Ianto closing his eyes and folding his arms on his chest, and went on, "But he'll have to do it over and over. Not just the ordinary daily things but he could fall in love again and again, watch people grow and then age, he could find and lose love over and over."

"Yes, that he could." Ianto brought an arm up to cover his eyes in the hope it would more clearly signal his discomfort at the direction of the conversation.

"Yeah, and how brave will he have to be to do that? Me, I don't contemplate knowing that I'll love Gwen then lose her. We expect something to happen, when we're old. But then it's kind of natural. You expect that, so you get involved because it seems such a long way away. We have to believe she's going to be around to enjoy it, otherwise why do it? We – I – have to believe she'll survive Torchwood. I have to believe that I could die an old man in her arms. Just as you might, in Jack's arms."

Ianto removed the arm that had been resting across his eyes and sat up, leaning back against the wall as if seeking support. Only when he had settled into his new position did he lift his head and look fully at Rhys.

"That presumes he'll be there when I die. No guarantees of that, not with what we do." A look of resignation passed over Rhys's face as Ianto continued, "You do have to understand that, Rhys. In this work, there are no guarantees of a long life, no guarantees of dying in the arms of even a team member, let alone a loved one. And it could be any of us. Including Gwen."

Shaking his head, Rhys reached for the corner of his towel and wiped away the beads of sweat that had accumulated on his brow. Dropping the towel back to the bench he faced Ianto and conceded, "Every time she goes out the door I think of it. I don't want to, but bloody hell, of course I do. I love her." He considered how to respond before saying with some hesitation, "I suppose it's something for Jack to have the team around, it must bring him some comfort to have you there."

Ianto's response gave Rhys another lesson in the certainties of Torchwood. "We're not always there when he dies. Nor are we always there when he comes back. It's a reality of what we do."

"Poor bastard," Rhys pondered, "to die alone would be bad enough, but to come back alone, that's got to be tough."

When Ianto didn't respond Rhys let the silence hang for several minutes, before allowing himself to ask the question he'd been turning over in his mind, "I wonder which is harder: dying over and over, or loving and losing over and over."

Ianto's response was sharp, "God, how to be blunt! That's a conversation Jack and I haven't had, and one that we won't have."

"So who do you talk about it with?"

"No one, Rhys." The glare was unmistakeable. "And you misunderstand me. When I say it's a conversation we won't have, I mean you and me. You and I won't be having that conversation."

Ianto shifted himself off the bench and into a standing position. He walked to the door, tension evident in his movements. "Back in a moment, just going to get some water. I'll bring you some," he said curtly before disappearing.

Dropping back against the wall Rhys let out a long breath, rubbed a hand through his hair, and reprimanded himself, "Good one, Williams, another fine effort at barging in without thinking." He closed his eyes and considered how his words could have sparked such a defensive response.

As Ianto came back in he tossed Rhys a bottle of water. Reflexively reaching out, he caught it with a single hand, and said without apology, "I reckon Gwen can be pretty clever. Maybe she thinks this bonding thing is a two-way thing. And I think maybe you could do with a mate to talk about it with as well. Didn't we agree rugby club rules apply?"

"Maybe you're right," Ianto allowed, "but some of it, honestly … I'm not good at talking about Jack like that, especially with others."

"And I'll guess there are some things you don't talk about with him?"

Settling back onto his towel, and propping himself against the wall Ianto brought his feet up to rest on the upper bench and dangled his arms over his knees. He clenched his water bottle with both hands. "All a little bit too early yet for some stuff, it's only been a few months of really getting to know each other in the way that allows that."

"Okay, I get that, it can take a while for some of the heavier stuff to emerge. Look at me and Gwen – ages together and we're still learning, and trying to work each other out," Rhys agreed before asking, "so you're not yet at the fully fledged 'we're a couple' stage?"

"Nope, not there yet."

Trying to lighten the atmosphere Rhys quipped, "Jack and Ianto: Beyond a shag, not yet a couple."

"That about sums it up," was Ianto's honest reply.

"Well, that's a pity," suggested Rhys with a grin.

Ianto looked puzzled. "And why would you think that?"

"Because, if you were a couple, having to say 'Jack and Ianto' might be a bit of a mouthful, so -"

"Don't go there, Rhys," Ianto replied with some exasperation.

Ignoring Ianto's warning Rhys carried on, "I'd have to give you a nickname, like one of those Hollywood couples."

"Don't you dare!" This time the warning sounded like a command.

Rhys began slapping his fists on the wood of the bench in imitation of a drum roll. "Yep, I've got it! I'm going to call you 'Janto'!" As Ianto simply stared at him Rhys roared at the ridiculousness of his own suggestion. "Oh that is priceless, I can't wait to tell Gwen. She'll go all gooey and say it's adorable – 'Janto', ah, god that's good."

When Ianto said nothing, Rhys quirked an eyebrow and sought a reaction. Although Ianto wasn't laughing, he had begun to grin and the look on his face suggested he was about to deliver some payback. He intoned in a flat voice, "It's very clever, Rhys, but such a pity you'll never be able to use it outside of here."

"Huh? Oh no, you wouldn't."

Ianto's grin was triumphant. "Yep, I would, I'm invoking rugby club rules."

"Aw, come on, Ianto, surely you won't make them apply to stuff like this."

"Sorry, Rhys, but we did agree, what's said in the club stays in the club. We shook on it, can't have you breaking your bond, can we? One violation and who knows where it would end."

Raising his water bottle in a toast Rhys conceded the point. "You're a hard man, Ianto Jones."

"Should have kept your mouth shut, Rhys, that's all." Ianto returned the toast.

"Maybe I should have. And while we are on the subject, you didn't answer my question. If you're not talking about it with Jack – you know, Torchwood and you and Jack and all that goes with it – just who do you talk about it with? There must be someone, surely?"

"No one. Truth is, I suppose, absolutely no one other than Jack and the team, and I don't say much to them," Ianto answered with a great deal of reservation evident in his voice. "It's like Tosh always says: 'who, outside of Torchwood, would understand?', and she's got a point."

"I suppose she has, and that must be tough for you. It's one of the reasons I could understand about Gwen's affair, the pressure of those secrets. Now of course she has an outlet. Perhaps you do need that?"

Ianto considered the gently prodding question. "Look, it's not as if Jack and I don't talk, because we really do, it's just that there's some things we haven't got to yet. Some of the big issue stuff. And it's not as if we're two ordinary men with regular lives." Ianto smiled with fondness. "And a lot of the time I don't need to talk, it's enough that he's there, we're there together. I really like those quiet times, the times when it's just us two in the Hub. We're good like that, being there, just in the moment. And if stuff happens that gets to me he's good, he understands, and he helps. I like to think I do the same for him."

Rhys replied quietly and with some admiration, "Sounds to me like you'll reach the couple stage sooner than you think, despite all you have to deal with. It also sounds like there are good reasons for hanging in there."

Ianto noticed the admiration and took his time to respond, considering whether to say what was on his mind. When he did reply he spoke so softly his words were absorbed in the heat.

"Sometimes I think it would be better to walk away. Take the amnesia pill, create a new identity and simply leave before the inevitable happens, or before Jack gets too enmeshed with me. Perhaps for both of us the loss could be easier to carry. I wouldn't remember and while he would, it would be a few short months in such a long life he'd forget soon enough. It might be kinder to him that way."

"You wouldn't do it, though?"

"There are some days I really do think about it. The reality of the world I live in; I'd be mad not to think about it."

"But you don't?"

Ianto gave a laugh devoid of feeling. "I almost did it, one day when Jack was gone and the team were falling apart. I even set up a new identity, had an escape to London all planned out."

"But you stayed, even though he was gone?"

"Something happened, something big that took us by surprise and we had to pull together. We acted like our own team; with or without Jack we were a team. " Ianto shrugged his shoulders at the reality that was Torchwood. "I felt like they'd run adrift if I wasn't there to anchor them."

Rhys laughed. "'Torchwood –Adrift in the Rift' … could be your new slogan. I like it."

"Consider me surprised," muttered Ianto.

"Oh yeah, and why is that?"

Ianto began to sing, "'You won't be sorry with a Harwood's Lorry'…one of yours I believe."

"Careful, mate, I was proud of that."

"You could release a single," Ianto returned.

Rhys chuckled, and took a swig from his water bottle. "Again you're too smart for me." He looked at Ianto with curiosity and suggested, "Jack's return makes it harder to leave."

"Yes, of course. And now that we're more involved it's almost impossible, but that doesn't stop the thought. Mainly when I've had a crap day - because the truth is I really couldn't do it." Ianto considered Rhys for a moment then asked, "Since we're talking about walking away, what about you? None of it made you think 'this is more than I can cope with'?"

"No, like I said, Paris was good for us in that sense. I will admit there was one time, one moment where I was so livid I could have just left Gwen there, I was so fucking furious." The slap Rhys gave to the bench with an open hand, and the toughening of his tone suggested his anger had not yet been completely resolved.

"I presume you're going to tell me why."

"That bloody drug you have, the amnesia pill."

"Retcon?" Ianto waited, wondering just how much Gwen had told Rhys about her use of the drug. His feeling that she might not have told the full story was confirmed when Rhys replied with some bitterness:

"Yeah that. Who cares what it's called, it's still an amnesia pill and she actually thought she could give it to me after I'd taken a bullet for her." He considered what he'd said. "Christ knows how she thought she'd explain a bullet hole."

Ianto avoided the omitted event and stated matter of factly, "We would have managed that for her, it would have been an easy cover story to create, but in the end we didn't need to, because you weren't given the Retcon."

"Oh, that's bloody great – 'an easy cover story', you'd do that?"

When Ianto shrugged and said nothing, Rhys scowled and went on, "That just makes it worse. But the thing that still makes me angry is she thought about giving it to me."

"She had to, and if Torchwood protocol had been followed we wouldn't be here having this conversation. So you could consider yourself lucky."

"And how exactly do you figure that?" Rhys replied with rising irritation.

"Easy, because Jack gave the Retcon to Gwen to give to you. He gave her the responsibility and therefore the choice. If he was absolutely determined you were to be retconned, he would have given it to me or to Owen to administer, and either of us would have done the job. But he didn't."

Waving a hand about as if to dismiss the comment Rhys replied in a voice laden with sarcasm, "Yeah, and isn't that easy. Pass the job to someone else to do, get the grunts to do the dirty work. Really brave that is."

Ianto's reaction was swift and his face blazed with fury, "Don't you fucking dare!"

Rhys balled his fists, and angrily fired back, "Tell me why not? What do I really know about good old Captain Jack? Her life's in his hands so tell me what he's really like when the chips are down …go on, tell me!

Still furious at the earlier remark, Ianto replied with some disdain, "You know what Gwen's told you, and she knows him, so maybe you should trust that."

Rhys reacted as though explaining the obvious, "Yeah, of course I know what Gwen's told me but we've already established she's a bit bloody besotted with him. So what does that tell me then, huh? Stuff all, is the truth."

Ianto glared at him. "I'll tell you this truth: He'd rather die for us than see us get hurt, and you can believe that!"

"Well he can, can't he? Not exactly a great sacrifice is it for the man who can't die? More like the great heroic cliché."

Ianto's eyes went wide with disbelief at the comment, and his face screwed with rage as he responded, "Don't be a prick, and listen to yourself! A minute ago you're saying 'poor Jack, it must be hard to die over and over', and now you're saying it means nothing. Which one is it, because it certainly can't be both?"

"I don't know! I don't fucking know if I can trust Harkness, alright! And what I saw on alien meat day didn't exactly fill me with confidence."

"You need to explain that."

Rhys sagged, some of his anger gone with the admission of his doubts, "Okay, here's what I saw. You lot disappear, no real plan for when you're in there. I've got no idea what's happening and next thing I'm being dragged into the warehouse by a bunch of goons. I'm thinking you guys are the experts, so you'll get me out of this. And what do I find instead? You're a captive of those idiots, with a pistol aimed at you head ready to blow your brains out, Owen's nowhere to be seen, and old Jackie boy is hiding down the back with the girls. No wonder it all went to shit and I got this." He pointed fiercely at the scar on his chest.

"Stuff happens unexpectedly, Rhys, as it did then." Seeing a look of disbelief on Rhys's face, Ianto hammered home his point, "And if Jack's instructions had been followed it might not have gone to shit and you might not have that scar."

"So why weren't they followed?"

"That's down to Gwen! She ignored him."

"So you want to blame her," Rhys sneered.

"Not blame, no, but assign some of the responsibility, yes. Jack instructed her not to step out and she disobeyed him." Ianto's voice had risen and he was again restraining his anger.

"Oh, you know that for certain do you, or are you just taking Jack's word?"

His anger rising further at the doubt cast on his integrity, Ianto barked, "I do, it's a fact, part C of Tosh's report."

"So she acted out of instinct," Rhys shouted back, his own defensive instincts ratcheting up, "hardly surprising in the circumstances!"

The look Ianto gave him was withering as he unleashed more of his anger, "That's the sort of instinct we can't afford. Because she didn't stop to think, she just barged out there. Doing exactly what she told you not to. Endangering us all because she didn't stop to think, she didn't listen."

"For god's sake, Ianto, she was only trying to help me."

Ianto jabbed the objection away. "She let her personal feelings get in the way of thinking."

"I was in danger! What else was she supposed to do?" Rhys demanded.

"And so was I!" Ianto roared back. "She was supposed to wait and let Jack lead, and then follow his orders. But she didn't, and it all went to shit."

Frustrated and angry at having had one argument cut down Rhys latched on to something Ianto had said earlier, "So that's what you do, is it? Just follow Jack's orders and it will all be okay! No matter what? Giving me that pill would have been okay with you because Jack ordered it?"

Taking a breath to calm himself, Ianto lowered his voice, "Actually no, Rhys, I wasn't okay with it. After what you did and who you are, no, I wasn't. And believe me, Jack and I had a pretty strong discussion about it later." Ianto looked away as he recalled the vehemence he and Jack had each brought to that discussion. "If you must know, we had a heated argument about you and that whole day."

Sensing that Rhys was about to throw an argument back at him, Ianto brought his focus back and stared him down. He continued with quiet force, "That's only an answer to your first question, so hang on a moment would you? You want the answer to the second question, here it is: yes, I would have given you the Retcon if I'd been ordered to, whatever my misgivings."

Ianto's words inflamed Rhys's already stoked aggression and he sneered, "Jack commands and so you obey. Yeah, good response, Ianto, classic soldier boy response! I was only doing my duty! If you had those sorts of misgivings why would you simply follow an order like that?"

"Because I trust Jack Harkness to make the right decisions with hard choices, and I've learned not to pick and choose." The retort shot across the gap between them with the full force of Ianto's furious conviction and it slapped Rhys hard. He slumped, chastised and breathing heavily, against the sauna wall.

As the aftershocks of his outburst subsided the rise and fall of his chest became less pronounced, but he was still visibly shaking when he muttered, "Give us a minute will you, I'm just going to get some more water- you need some?"

"Sure," Ianto replied, tossing his empty water bottle across the space between them. He watched as Rhys slid off the bench and walked wearily to the door. As it closed behind him Ianto stepped down from his bench and stretched. Clasping his hands behind him and pulling them backwards he released the tension in his shoulders with a loud exhale. "Phew," he said quietly as he unclasped his hands and shook his limbs, "that was intense." He took a couple of strides to the water bucket and threw some water on the stones, before settling on the corner of the lower bench and facing the heater. Shaking his head before closing his eyes, he brought his breathing back to a more regular pace, and consciously focused on slowing his heart rate.

After a little he rested his elbows on his knees, and let his head drop forward. He was still occupied with massaging his scalp with both hands when a cold blast of air indicated that Rhys had returned. Conscious that only a single step had been taken, Ianto lifted his head slightly and saw an outstretched hand. Taking from it the refilled water bottle it held he said quietly:

"Rhys, you'll need to shut the door,you're letting in the cold air."

"I wasn't sure whether…" came the hesitant response.

Stepping back, Rhys pulled the door closed and then sat on the end of the opposite bench. As Ianto had done he too angled himself toward the heater, commenting in a subdued manner, "Looks a bit like we're having a fireside chat."

Rather than respond immediately Ianto merely nodded and drank a deep draught of water. Once he'd finished he placed the bottle on the floor between his feet, and remarked quietly, "no flames."

"But nice heat though," a still wary Rhys responded, before taking a deep breath and saying, "Sorry about the flare up."

"Yeah, me too, but it wasn't unprecedented, I have seen you do the alpha male thing before," Ianto returned with a touch of humour.

Rhys sheepishly laughed, "True enough …though you were quite a bit alpha yourself. Surprised me, that did."

Quirking an eyebrow, and with a measured tone of seriousness, Ianto indicated what he thought of Rhys's surprise. "I thought we covered the underestimating thing a while back. Besides, you were being a prick."

"Yeah, I suppose I was."

On hearing the concession, Ianto relaxed a little more and began to chuckle quietly.

Rhys asked, "What's funny?"

Ianto shrugged a wry grin and answered, "Tosh would have made a fortune selling popcorn, and Jack, well we know what Jack would have thought!"

"Let me guess, he would have found it all a bit homo-erotic," Rhys replied, "and would have offered to help us with our bonding."

"You're learning," offered Ianto before they fell into a reflective silence.

Each took another swig of his water before Rhys marshaled his courage and expressed his regret, "I really do apologise, Ianto, some of the things I said …I guess I just don't know enough." Holding his hand up to prevent Ianto from responding he went on, "But I have to ask this because I do need to know: how does Jack merit that much trust?"

"He merits it because he's earned it," was Ianto's simple reply.

"Can't you give me a bit more than that, please?" Rhys quietly implored. "I really do want to understand."

"Short answer is we have had several hard lessons in why we should. Lessons where we didn't listen, where we disobeyed him and there were huge costs as a result."

"Can you give me an example or two? They'd help."

Ianto thought about the request for a moment and then, shaking his head, replied, "It's the one area I think you should ask Gwen about. If she hasn't talked about it in detail it's not my place to tell you. Some of it is about all of us, some of it about me. Tell her she has my permission to tell you the stuff that involves me." He noticed that again Rhys was not satisfied with his reply so he tried another approach.

"Hear me out, Rhys, and think about it because it might help you understand. Start with this: you know who Jack is, you know what he is, that he's a time traveling man born in the fifty-first century, a man who dies and comes back repeatedly. You know that. Now think what that means for how much Jack has seen, how much he has experienced."

"When you put it like that, yeah, I suppose…" Rhys replied. His brow furrowed with some puzzlement as he thought further about Ianto's statement, "Actually it's a bit more than I can comprehend."

Rather than being side-tracked Ianto maintained his purpose, "And he's seen it all in more time than either you or I can understand, that's important too. Jack's been with Torchwood for nearly as many years as the rest of the team have been alive put together. He's seen so much, he knows almost too much. So he understands consequences and ramifications in ways we can never hope to. It's why we can't afford to second guess him, because all of that is what qualifies him to make the decisions he has to make."

Pondering this perspective Rhys arrived at a conclusion, "All of which makes him the right choice to lead Torchwood, and, by extension that means giving the orders."

"That's about it. You can't have him protecting Gwen and, at the same time, have us questioning his orders. It's not possible to have both. And his decisions and his orders are all based on who he is and what his experience has been. And that's why I trust him." When Rhys nodded his understanding, Ianto sat back and stretched his arms wide along the edge of the upper bench, pleased they'd reached some form of acceptable resolution.

After drinking the rest of the water in his bottle, Rhys reached down and scooped a ladle of water from the bucket. He poured it over his head, and rubbed it over his face before relaxing back into a position that mirrored Ianto. "There is one other thing in all of this that I am curious about. Gwen said all of you were angry with her at her decision– so why were you angry with her when you didn't agree with giving me the Retcon?"

"You want the truth?"

"Of course."

"Gwen said some stuff about the rest of us that was unfair and a bit dismissive of us. And she was gloating. Those comments more than anything made me, and I suspect the others, angrier than we might have been if it had all been handled with less emotion."

"Ahh, Gwen gave a bloody classic performance I suppose. Has a go at me for not thinking before I open my mouth, and from the sounds of it she did the same thing."

"She did."

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised, she can be a bit fiery. We have some knock down struggles, but that isn't an excuse is it?" Noticing that his question was met with a non-committal tilt of Ianto's head, Rhys sighed, "The complete truth, Ianto, is that I know that she can be bloody impulsive and reactive without thinking. She always knows best and she can forget other people. It scares the hell out of me that she'll get hurt, or cause someone else to be hurt because of it. It's why I wonder so much about how you look out for each other, it's why I needed to know how capable Jack is, and it's the main reason I wanted to have this sort of conversation."

"Wow, that is honest."

Rhys shrugged. "I know all that about her, and I know what it is that she's chosen, and I still want to marry her - I want that long life with her, and I don't want her to lose it because she gets carried away."

They sat in silence for a short while as Ianto formed a response that would convey his respect for both the honesty and the concerns. "Everyone on the team is different - we've all got our stuff and our strengths. We need Gwen as much as we need anyone else, which is how, in the end, you got to keep your memories." He considered what to say next. "Believe me, we know how Gwen can be, just as we know how Jack can be or Tosh, or Owen, and they all know how I can be. We work as a team, and our priority is the safety of the team. We really have come to trust each other."

Throughout Ianto's speech Rhys had been still, intent on listening not just to the words but to the conviction with which they were conveyed. At its conclusion, he nodded gently and said simply, "Thanks, I guess that's what I was hoping to hear."

"Glad to help. Torchwood's not easy, but a little trust in us might go a long way in making it easier for you."

"I reckon you may be right, I'll just have to practise," responded Rhys with another nod. Looking fully at Ianto and ensuring he had his attention he continued, "You're a good man, Ianto Jones, there's no question in my mind about trusting you. You're a protective bugger, something not to be underestimated in what you do."

Deflecting the compliment Ianto replied with a laugh, "Says the alpha male - you weren't exactly docile when it came to defending your own corner."

"True enough." They sat in companionable silence for a while before Ianto, wiping away more accumulated sweat, suggested "I suppose we ought to think about showering and getting out of here."

"You're probably right," Rhys responded, without moving. He appeared to be thinking so Ianto remained seated and waited.

Eventually Rhys spoke, "It really niggles though, what you can do with that drug, I still don't think that its right, taking away people's memories like that."

"I assume you know we gave the meat guys Retcon, so what about them?" Ianto asked quietly.

"Yeah I know you did, Gwen told me. That's how I knew she could have given it to me. I suppose it's different, they deserved to be punished for what they did and losing their memories seems kind of appropriate for them. Although I don't know who they could have told, most people would think them mad if they tried to tell their story -part of the lunatic fringe like UFO spotters."

"I won't take that personally," Ianto muttered.

"But for ordinary people, I don't know what to think. What keeps us living for the moments to come are our memories, we stay because of the memories we've already got, we make choices based on our memories."

Now recognising the signs of a Rhys rant, Ianto became serious again. "What if those memories are too terrifying, Rhys, what if they're so strong and powerful they're beyond what you could deal with? What if you're better off not having them?"

"But these are peoples' minds: aren't you playing god by changing their memories? What gives you the right to choose for them what they can deal with? To me it seems like an invasion of who they are." No longer confident of the rightness of his position Rhys waited for Ianto's response.

When it came it was delivered with quiet certainty. "It may well be what you say, an invasion of their minds. But there are all sorts of those. And some of them are so big the world would go mad." Ianto stared at the heater, as though he was looking at flames. "Remember what happened at Canary Wharf?"

Uncertain why Ianto would ask, Rhys responded with curiosity, "Yeah, the terrorist attack, what of it?"

"Do you remember which terrorist group was responsible?"

"No one knew or if they did they never said. You know that as well as I do."

Ianto brought his attention back to Rhys and waited quietly for him to understand.

A shift in his body language indicated that he did. He lent forward and pointed a finger at Ianto. "Are you telling me that was a cover-up?" Ianto stayed silent, merely quirking an eyebrow to encourage Rhys to continue thinking. An additional moment brought the desired result. "Oh what, not bloody aliens?"

"A battle between two alien races, fought in London – one lot wanted to convert us into robots, the others wanted simply to exterminate us. Neither of them with any form of emotion we'd recognise as human and both of them intent on destroying the other. No free thoughts, Rhys, no right to be human, just smoke and fire and destruction and slaughter. It was terrifying."

Shock passed quickly over Rhys's face, and he trembled with horror as his imagination conjured up the events described. "You were there?"

"I was. The worst day you can imagine. And the worst bit of it all was that we let them in. Torchwood let them in."

"Torchwood! Bloody hell, Ianto, they did that and you and Gwen are still happy to work for them?"

Ianto stopped him. "It was a different branch, different leadership. They no longer exist. I can guess what you're thinking and I know this with absolute certainty. Jack wouldn't have allowed it, like I said he knows so much. He knows what we ordinary people can do and it frightens him."

"But we let them in?"

"Yep, we humans, with our ego and our ambition and our belief in our ability to control and master anything, we did that, we brought an alien war to our planet. Spaceships over London and steel robots in the street and flying robots in the skies. Indiscriminate killing of ordinary people. Is that something you think everyone has the right to remember?"

"No, of course not. But why don't they, Ianto, if that happened why doesn't the world remember it? And how do you remember when the world doesn't?"

"That's a long story, one that requires a bit of time and a lot of beers. But the point is this: what would it do to us as a civilization, as a planet, if everyone did remember?"

"That's impossible to imagine."

"And that's the cost of knowing: you want people to have all their memories, you defend their right to know, but it doesn't come free." Reaching across the space Ianto placed a hand on Rhys's shoulder and said, "My turn for a really hard question. How do you plan to live with all of what you now know?"

Deflecting the question, Rhys asked one of his own, "How old are you, Ianto?"

Surprised a little by the tangent Ianto sat back and responded with curiosity, "Twenty five."

"You've seen a lot then for someone your age. It's one of the things Gwen said: 'he's had to deal with so much, and he's so young.' And after what you've just told me I can't disagree with her. All of that and you're still with Torchwood?"

"Yeah, I am. It's different now it's Jack's Torchwood. I'm proud to be there." He stopped, as if surprised by his own admission. Having reflected for a moment he went on, "Perhaps I have experienced a bit, but relatively speaking it's not all that much - did Gwen mention Tommy from World War One to you?"

"Tommy?" Rhys thought for a minute "Oh yeah, the one day of the year frozen soldier guy. Yeah she did, talked about him quite a bit actually, what of him?"

"He was about my age and he fought in the trenches in France in all that mud and squalor and death. Millions of men our age did that, and had to go on living. Every time I think what we do is harsh or uncivilized I remind myself of Tommy, and all those other soldiers. Remembering him, and them, helps me keep it all in its proper perspective. It's not just aliens we need protecting from."

"So is that how do you do it, every day, when something happens, you just try and keep it in proportion?" Rhys appeared to be reaching some greater level of understanding.

"Yep. Keep calm and carry on cleaning_,_ that's my motto," Ianto lightly replied, before adding more seriously, "and remembering that despite the risk involved it is worth it."

Rhys shrugged his shoulders. "Then, in answer to your question of how I'm going to live with it, I could try the same - maybe I should use you as my role model for how to live with Torchwood. You seem to have a good handle on how to do it."

With a nod of his head Ianto accepted the sincerity of the words, and standing up he said, "And speaking of carrying on cleaning, it really is time to hit the showers, there should be enough hot water by now." He grabbed his towel and water bottle and moved to the door. Looking back he remarked, "It's all you can do, Rhys - keep it in its right perspective and trust. We do deserve your trust, all of us, including Jack."

As he pushed open the door he added with a grin, "And if I'm your role model, think about what that could do to your boundaries!"

"Smart-arse," bellowed Rhys at the closing door. He collected his towel and water bottle and followed Ianto out into the chilly atmosphere of the changing rooms. Stopping at his kit bag to drop his water bottle and collect his toiletries, he checked his phone for messages. There were a couple, one of which caused a puzzling of his brow.

As he headed across the room toward the showers he called out to Ianto, who was already enjoying the spray of hot water, "I got a message from Gwen, she says they're all taking the night off and are heading out for a drink. She suggests we join them."

"Sounds good to me," replied Ianto as he lathered his scalp. "And I could do with something to eat, I'm starved."

Giving Ianto a warning he was about to turn on the taps for his shower, Rhys added, "Gwen also said to tell you that she unsettled Jack earlier by suggesting you should join me and her for supper. Not quite sure what she meant because the word 'supper' had quotation marks around it."

"I think what it means is Gwen might have scored a rare victory over Jack in the innuendo wars!"

"Innuendo wars?" Rhys mused as he stepped under his shower. "What? You guys try to out-do Jack? Bit of a challenge I'd imagine." He was grinning as he finished, "Hey, Ianto, you want to have some fun?"

"Not sure what you're suggesting, but I presume it doesn't involve dropping the soap!" Ianto teased.

"Well, it sort of does." Seeing he'd confused Ianto, Rhys hurried on to clarify his remark, "I mean making innuendo about that type of thing when we meet them. Stir them up a bit."

"And why would we do that?" asked a curious Ianto as he rinsed away the shampoo lather.

"Perhaps it's time for a bit of payback fun for all the flirty stuff and the hero worship," a smirking Rhys suggested.

Ianto rolled his eyes, but said nothing as he soaped away the sweat from the sauna.

Rhys continued to make his argument, "Gwen did think us 'bonding' would be good, maybe we could suggest just how well we bonded." Believing he was beginning to convince Ianto he added, "And we are the naked Torchwood husbands."

"Please, that comment is definitely not to be made to Jack," Ianto groaned, before turning his face into the spray of water and muttering, "And here comes round two of stags butting antlers."

"You think? Come on, Ianto, where's your spirit of adventure?"

"Alright, Rhys," Ianto's face relaxed into a sly grin as he added, with perfect imitation of Jack, "Oh yeah, I suppose we could have some fun with it."

Rhys let his excitement bubble. "Especially since we know lots of rugby terms and they don't!"

Ianto's own excitement grew as he imagined the possibilities, "There's a hooker on every team, in a scrum you get tight head and loose head, and if you want to join a hard tackle you have to 'bind from behind' - yep, I reckon we might win this round." He smirked wickedly. "We could even call ourselves the Harwood's BSDs."

"Not sure I know that one," Rhys commented.

"Yeah sorry, not a rugby term," Ianto laughed as he explained, "comes from the finance markets, BSD, Big Swinging …you can guess the last word, it's a term used for alpha males. And just think how that'll answer the stiff competition question. I can just see the looks on their faces."

Unable to control his laughter at the thought, Rhys waved an arm at Ianto, imploring him to stop. In so doing he accidentally dropped his soap and it fell to the floor where it landed with a gentle thud half way between them.

Ianto stared at it pointedly, before laughing and saying, "Well come on then, Big Boy, let's go have some fun." He gave himself a final rinse under the shower before turning off the taps and, grabbing his towel from its peg, he returned to the changing area.

He was joined a minute later by Rhys and for the next few minutes as they dried and dressed themselves they shared the joshing camaraderie of teammates. When they were both ready they made their way to the door and, as he flipped off the lights, Rhys looked at Ianto and commented:

"Not sure I should let Gwen near you in that track-suit, she thinks you're gorgeous enough as it is. And I can't say she's mistaken!"

Ianto smirked at him, "Too late, mate, she's already seen me in it. Think she liked it. And besides, she'll have eyes only for you." He winked. "And with good reason. You're looking pretty good yourself."

As he pulled the door to and locked it, Rhys retorted, "Cut it out, I thought you had eyes only for Jack."

"Just because my attraction's for Jack doesn't mean my boundaries haven't expanded to window shopping other fine male forms!" Ianto suggested with a provocative wink, as he took in the wet conditions.

Preparing to make a run through the rain to the car, Rhys paused as Ianto's words struck him. "Did you just say I have a fine form?"

"Yep, but then I might only be practising the behaviour you've spent the last ten minutes encouraging me to participate in." Ianto laughed as he dashed toward the only vehicle still left in the car park.

"You bugger," Rhys chortled, as he too set off into the blustery conditions, "I still can't work out when you're serious."

They arrived at the car in high spirits, and as the lights flashed to indicate Rhys had unlocked it he looked across its roof to Ianto and said sincerely, "Thanks, mate, for the talk. You put up with a lot and I really am grateful. Maybe we could do it again?"

As he tossed his kit bag on the back seat and opened the front door Ianto replied with equal sincerity, "Not a problem at all, Rhys, it's been good both ways. Who knew a bit of bonding at rugby would turn into a sweaty confessional?"

Rhys laughed softly. "Good choice of phrase that, Gwen may worship Jack but after tonight I reckon she's misguided. You, Ianto Jones, are the one true god of Torchwood. They should be building the shrine to you."

They climbed into the car and closed the doors on Ianto's amused response. As the car pulled out and drove away, its headlights were the only thing that intruded on the darkness of the rain lashed rugby pitch.

* * *

**Additional Author's Note 1: **If the proposition that Ianto could take an amnesia pill and leave Torchwood arouses your curiosity please read 'Love Worth Remembering' by Cerih on this site. It's a mature and well written examination of that possibility.

**Additional Author's Note 2: **Coming up in Chapter 3, Ianto and Rhys meet the rest of the team for that drink, and put into play their payback. Innuendo galore and surprises for some ensue.


	3. Chapter 3: Social Conventions

**Author's Note: **One thing I always felt was overlooked in the first two TV series of Torchwood was the team dynamic, especially in a social setting. This is a suggestion for what might happen –so it's lighter in tone than Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Torchwood or the characters – and so this is a non-profit making venture. BBC/Starz still make the money, though they've given us so little of value since the end of Series 2.

**Gratitude: **Once again my thanks to reviewers, and those who favourited or followed. Said it before, say it again: you give me the incentive to continue. And to Alice Carter whose review of Chapter 2 had me speechless, there's a line in this meant for you as a thank you.

**Enormous Gratitude****: **Once again to Cerih, who continues to prove she is the best possible beta for a grumpy old bloke who requires reassurance.

* * *

**Social Conventions**

"Hey, Ianto!" Tosh called across the crowded lounge bar. "We're over here."

It was the middle of the evening and the bar was beginning to fill again. A few clusters of the after work crowd remained, their jackets and ties now loose, their voices and bravado equally so. They stood or sat about; professional attire increasingly at odds with that of the new arrivals, dressed as they were for an entirely different purpose.

Over the chatter of the bar and the hum of the music being played Ianto saw, rather than heard, her greeting. He gave her a wave and turned to Rhys, who was following a pace behind, saying "Let's go there first and see if they need anything." Receiving a nod of agreement he led the way through the tables to find Tosh and Jack tucked into a corner of a three sided booth against the wall.

An almost empty glass of wine sat on the table in front of Tosh, a glass of water – also nearly empty – was placed in front of Jack. There were only the two glasses on the table. A quick glance at the bar revealed that Owen and Gwen were not up buying another round.

After they'd exchanged greetings Rhys slid into the unoccupied side of the booth, and Ianto joined Jack. Tosh began to giggle, and looking first to Rhys on her left, and then at Jack and Ianto on her right she said, "I now call this meeting of the Rare Night Off Society to order. Anyone got any agenda items, or should we just drink?"

"Could do, if we had a drink." Ianto grinned at her.

Rhys raised a hand. "I've got an agenda item: where's Gwen?"

"Ah," said Jack with some hesitation, "she and Owen are investigating a small incident referred by the Police. They shouldn't be too long."

"Bloody hell, good start," muttered Rhys, "now I do need that drink."

Carefully avoiding giving a detailed explanation of what it was that had delayed Gwen, Jack asked, "What will you have, Rhys? I'll get them."

Rhys relaxed a little on noticing that neither Jack nor Tosh seemed concerned by the referred incident. "Okay, might as well while I wait, a pint of dark ale would be good."

"Same for me," added Ianto, who then began to laugh at Jack's reaction. "It's what we rugby boys drink."

Jack's eyebrows remained high on his forehead but he said nothing, instead turning to Tosh who indicated she would like another glass of wine. "That's two pints of dark, a glass of white, and a whisky for me, should be easy enough. Okay then, off to charm the barman."

"I may not let you out, Sir, if that's your intention," Ianto cheekily suggested.

"Do you want your beer?" Jack replied with a smirk.

"So my choice is having a beer or containing you?"

"If you want to put it like that, I suppose so," Jack responded with the sinking feeling he was about to be second choice.

Ianto pretended to contemplate, before slipping out of the booth and saying, "Beer, please."

Jack followed him and as he stood up Ianto said quietly with a smile, "Don't be gone too long, I'm looking forward to this."

"This being?"

"Drinks with the team and the plus one." With a tilt of his head, Ianto indicated Rhys, who appeared to already have begun to rant to Tosh.

Jack beamed. "It should be fun. Pity about the call out for Gwen and Owen, they'll miss the start of play."

"I'm sure they'll catch up, and we can fill them in on anything they miss."

"No doubt, and speaking of missing, any chance you missed me this afternoon?" Jack asked, his tone teasing.

"Been a bit otherwise occupied, Jack," Ianto replied with affection. "What with playing rugby, and then I was hungry, and this place doesn't do food so we stopped for a burger and chips. I needed to eat something after this afternoon and before having a drink. So not really much of an opportunity to miss you, but I can make up for it now while you go to the bar."

"I guess so," Jack agreed with a grin, "best I go and order the drinks and come right back. Don't want you pining too much." As he left he felt Ianto's hand run gently down his arm. Turning his head he rewarded Ianto with a coy smile, and then made his way toward the bar.

Rather than sit again, Ianto stayed standing, watching with a smile as Jack approached the barman and ordered the drinks. Laughter from both assured him that Jack was at his charming best, for they were soon joined by a waitress who also began to chuckle. Their amusement continued through the drinks pouring process and it was only when the drinks were being placed on the waitress's tray that Ianto realised he'd been ignoring Tosh and Rhys.

As he sat back down he caught Rhys in full flight and mid-sentence. "…and there's Gwen. My Gwen, striding toward the lorry, all black leather and hair in the wind like some foxy super-smart chick on a TV show. Couldn't get over it! My Gwen!"

"What, that she looked like a foxy chick from TV or that she's super-smart?" Tosh asked with a sly laugh.

Rhys laughed along with her. "Well, she's probably not as smart as you, so I'll go with the foxy chick from TV thing."

"She'd be good in emotional close-ups," Ianto chuckled. "Those big wide eyes all awash with tears. Pull in the ratings, they would."

"Who'd pull in the ratings?" It was Jack, returning from the bar. Following in his wake, and carrying a tray with their drinks was the waitress he'd been amusing.

"Oh god, here we go," mumbled Rhys.

"Could have timed that better," whispered Tosh.

"You would, Sir." Ianto beamed with a quirk of his brow. He shifted along and made space for Jack to sit. "On any show!"

Leaning forward with a provocative smile as she passed out the drinks, the waitress giggled at Ianto. "Not sure about old Captain America, but me and my girlfriends, we'd watch anything you was in, you're gorgeous you are. I'd give you ratings anytime." She gave him her best salacious wink and, having collected the empty glasses, turned and left them somewhat open-mouthed.

All four watched her walk away with a sassy bounce in her step, before Jack commented ruefully, "Seems everywhere I go today people are saying Ianto Jones is gorgeous."

Grinning at Rhys before turning to Jack, Ianto replied, "You too, huh, it seems to be the day for it. First there was Owen, and then there was the rugby and now here. It would appear I was right and fifty-first century pheromones aren't needed."

Jack was about to retort when he paused, Ianto's words registering. "Hang on, who at the rugby told you you're gorgeous?"

"Umm …that would have been me." Rhys waved and gave Jack a challenging grin.

"YOU! Geez Rhys, I wouldn't have figured you for -"

"Oh come on, can't spend all that time with a hot and sweaty Ianto and not notice." Watching Jack's jaw fall, Rhys finished, "Especially when he was naked for a lot of it, caused me to drop the soap, he did..."

As Jack floundered for a response Tosh began to giggle, and she said to Rhys, "Promise me one thing, promise me that I can be there when you repeat that to Gwen." When Rhys nodded in delighted agreement she went on, "Hang on …no …make it two things, make sure Owen is also around when you do!"

Realising that Tosh had quickly picked up on the game that was being played Ianto wagged his finger at her and said, "You, Ms Sato, are intent on subverting the team spirit of Torchwood."

"No such thing, Mr Jones, in the interests of team bonding I'm merely encouraging Rhys to share his experiences with everyone," Tosh shot back, "and besides, I suspect I'm simply following your lead."

Still somewhat flabbergasted, Jack muttered, "Not sure I want the team bonding over a naked Ianto."

"How very twenty-first century of you, Jack," quipped Tosh, "so nicely possessive."

"You think I'm learning?" Jack asked with amusement.

"I think you are," Tosh said, delighted that Jack had understood her meaning.

Turning his attention to Ianto and Rhys and waving his hand between them Jack commented with some curiosity, "So, you two obviously hit it off this afternoon."

Ianto smiled at Rhys and with a flick of an eyebrow suggested that round two of the game was on. He replied to Jack with a hint of suggestiveness, "Difficult not to when you tackle together, Sir."

"I do love a hard tackle," added Rhys, keeping a straight face, "and Ianto's tackle is up there with the best of them." Jack's eyes widened at the comment but he was too slow in forming his response.

"You're being generous, Rhys," Ianto replied with exaggerated magnanimity. "I think yours was the best I've seen in a long time. And you kept it up all afternoon."

"Have to when you're a hooker," Rhys replied before turning his attention to Jack. "You should have seen him, kept going in hard until he was ordered to get off." Suspecting he was being played, Jack sat back and said with enjoyment, "Oh yeah, I can imagine."

"That's the genetic advantage of being Welsh, Sir, hard tackles come naturally," Ianto suggested to him with a leer, before flashing a lewd grin at Rhys. "It really helped that you could bind from behind so well."

"Had a bit of practise in my time, and there's nothing like a bit of stiff competition to ensure plenty of hard tackles," Rhys added, slapping the table several times to reinforce his point.

Knowing they'd been giving him a lesson in smutty wisecracks, Jack gave into his laughter. Tosh groaned with exasperation, and muttered, "Also ensures plenty of innuendo, another universal truth for all males of the species."

Ianto smiled, and asked her with amusement, "Too much?"

"Perhaps," Tosh replied, raising her glass, "who knew you could make so much from something so little."

"Score one for Toshiko Sato." Ianto laughed. "And on that note, I need to visit the boy's room, if you could let me out, Jack." As Jack slid out, Ianto followed and stood, asking," Anybody need anything from the bar while I'm up?"

"I wonder if they have popcorn," Tosh replied, flicking an expectant look at both Jack and Rhys. Ianto laughed and said, "I'll check," before heading off to find the toilet.

Jack resumed his seat and returned the look before addressing Rhys directly and saying with mock innocence, "It would seem, Mr Williams, that you and I have a bit of a reputation."

"Certainly appears that way, though I'm not sure we deserve it," Rhys suggested, with equally amused sincerity.

"Have to agree with you on that," Jack chuckled, as he lifted his glass in a toast – a gesture immediately imitated by Rhys. The look they exchanged as they touched glasses agreed considerably more than their words suggested.

Her eyes twinkling with amusement, Tosh joined the toast. As their glasses touched she said with feigned surprise, "A miracle and it's not even Christmas!"

Rhys responded rapidly, "Two more and you can call me Saint Rhys! You could build me a shrine."

Both Tosh and Jack roared with laughter at the remark, and it was some time before they began to settle. Realising that their laughter was not simply a response to his own quip, Rhys asked for an explanation. It was Tosh, still attempting to restore her calm, who replied somewhat breathlessly:

"It's just …oh …this afternoon we …oh god …two shrines in the one day…" She began to giggle again and soon she was shuddering with laughter at remembering the conversation of that afternoon. As she shoved her hand over her mouth and shook her head with mirth she flagged Jack, by this stage much more in control, begging him to finish for her. He spoke with as much calm as he could muster, "Gwen and Tosh confessed this afternoon that they think Ianto is a god –"

He got no further. Rhys tossed his head back and bawled, "Ianto Jones, the one true god of Torchwood!" He began to laugh loudly.

Jack held up a hand to try and rein him in. "Wait, hang on a minute, I know why Tosh and I are laughing but I'm not sure why you are."

"Because," said Rhys, delighted that he could share a story regarding Ianto, "it was the last thing I said to Ianto this afternoon before we left, I called him that – The one true god of Torchwood."

Both Tosh and Jack stared at him with astonishment, before collapsing in more laughter.

"You did?" gasped Jack.

"You didn't?" wheezed Tosh.

"I did, that's the truth, exactly those words," replied a still laughing Rhys, "and you'd already called him a god! Bloody hell, that's priceless, that is."

"We didn't actually tell him that we did," giggled Tosh. "No, I mean we didn't" – she waved a hand at herself then at Jack – "but Owen did!"

"Only after a certain amount of encouragement from you," Jack reminded her before turning to Rhys. "I'm a bit confused though, surely he was the god of rugby today."

"Nope, he's definitely the god of Torchwood." Seeing he needed to offer something more in justification, Rhys drew in a calming breath and explained, "Truth is, and all jokes aside, we spent some time in the sauna – all the other buggers had used up the hot water, so it was a good place to get warm while we waited for the boiler to reheat. That's why we were a bit later than expected. Well, that and stopping for a burger and chips on the way here."

Jack reflected on this information and the evident ease between Ianto and Rhys. Trying to keep his curiosity to a minimum he remarked," So you spent time in a sauna discovering Ianto's a god. Interesting thought. I imagine you talked a bit."

"We did," was all Rhys said in reply.

"About Torchwood?"

"Can't tell you, Jack, what we talked about was between us." He continued with some irony, "What I will say is it wasn't easy going and if I learnt one thing it was this: it's not wise to underestimate Ianto Jones. More than that I really can't tell you, I'd be breaching trust, and I'd like to think I wouldn't do that to a friend – I reckon I can consider him that." He seemed surprised at his own acknowledgement.

"No, you wouldn't, breach that trust I mean. You know I really don't want to know," Jack said with conviction. "It's just …I guess I was a bit surprised at first, at you two spending time together, I mean." He shrugged his shoulders and gave Rhys a curious look. "It's not as if I'd ever really thought about you and Ianto being friends or 'bonding' or whatever word you want to use. You seem so different and," he paused, trying to find the right phrase.

"And Torchwood doesn't befriend outsiders," Rhys finished the sentence before Jack could frame his conclusion. "Hard to, I suppose, with what you do and see, but then I'm not - I'm not an outsider now, am I? I can't be, can I?"

"That wasn't what I was going to add, but what you say, yeah… you're right, we haven't and there were always reasons," Jack responded, taking the new direction in his stride. He took a small sip of his whisky and considered what to say next; knowing that in the questions Rhys had posed there was a quiet plea for reassurance. He noticed that while Rhys wore an expression of hope, Tosh was giving nothing away on how he should respond. Her expression was one of simple curiosity, as though she were waiting for him to show the direction she should support.

In the end Jack chose to reply directly, "No, Rhys, you're not an outsider - with what you did, taking a bullet, and taking that creature in your stride, you're definitely not an outsider. Especially not now, not after today and what I imagine was a fairly honest conversation with Ianto."

"Thanks, Jack," Rhys replied seriously. "That's appreciated, that is, and I understand what it means." At Jack's raised eyebrow and Tosh's furrowing of her brow in curiosity, he went on, "It's the same as the rules of the rugby clubrooms - what happens there stays there. You don't have to worry about that." He looked at them both with a sincere expression, hoping he'd convinced them of his understanding. He was about to add something when Tosh spoke lightly and with real acceptance of his words, "We don't, and since you say it's the same as ruby club rules, we know our secrets are safe with you."

"Although they might perhaps be a bit more serious," added Jack, without thinking and looking at Tosh. When he heard a huff from Rhys's direction he looked at him and saw an expression of amused disbelief. Turning back to Tosh he asked, "What did I say? Torchwood secrets are serious matters."

"I suspect you diminished the importance of rugby to a Welshman, Jack. Am I right?" she asked Rhys.

"Nothing more serious than rugby," he agreed as he raised his glass again, and delivered a bemused caution, "something best not forgotten, Jack."

"You'd think I'd know that after all this time, so consider me now aware." Jack acknowledged the implied warning with a genuine smile, before asking, "So how did it go this afternoon, did you win?"

"And there's the code of the alpha male: the twenty-first century and nothing changes from the twentieth - or any century for that matter," Tosh shot at him. At her interruption both men turned to her, Rhys slightly puzzled and Jack with a grin.

"Okay, Tosh, point taken. One day I'll get it right!" He turned to a still puzzled Rhys, "Let me rephrase the question: so how did it go today, did you enjoy playing?"

"Ahh, I get it, and yeah, we did enjoy it," Rhys replied with a laugh. "It was a bloody great day for it, mud and rain, and lots of good hard tackling – no seriously." He'd spotted both Tosh's eye roll and Jack getting ready to say something. "I mean it, it was good tough rugby, played in perfect conditions."

"Sounds like fun," commented Tosh, "wish I'd been there to see it."

"For the rugby?" Jack asked with a wink. Apart from a brief sigh of exasperation, Tosh ignored him and asked Rhys, "How did Ianto do? I mean, he's never told us that he played, so I am interested."

Sitting back and resting his forearms on the table, Rhys spoke with obvious admiration. "He's a good player, not brilliant and spectacular, nothing showy, and truth is he's a bit rusty. Could do with playing more games – stop right there Harkness! But he's the sort of player every side needs, he gets in, he's not afraid of the tough stuff and he plays a team game. He really did give it his all, even though we never looked like winning."

All thoughts of innuendo set aside for a moment, it was a sincere Jack who responded, "That sounds remarkably like a character assessment."

Rhys's unequivocal reply came within an instant. "Yes, it is – might be an old cliché but it's also a truism: the way a man plays rugby is the measure of his character. And if you want my view, it'd be right for Ianto. Everything I said."

"He impressed you that much?" Jack asked quietly and without a trace of doubt. "In less than an afternoon?"

"Like I said, I watched him, I saw how he played. So yes, he did." Rhys leant forward and spoke frankly, "Look, I already knew a bit of what he'd be like, from what Gwen told me and from what I saw the day I was with you. Then we had that drink at the pub. What I saw today, and what I discovered when we talked later, added to that." Pausing for a moment he drank a large draught of his beer, holding up his hand to forestall any response from Jack or Tosh. Once he'd settled his glass back on the table he continued speaking frankly, "And I'm not going to apologise for this, and take it any way you like: knowing he's there makes me a damn sight more comfortable about Gwen doing what she does."

"As it does for all of us," Tosh responded before Jack could speak. He was caught by the strength of Rhys's apparent trust in Ianto, and the possibility he was thought of as Gwen's protector. He decided to say as much, "He can't keep her perfectly safe, nor can he -"

Rhys waved a hand and said firmly, "I do understand that, it was made clear to me this afternoon. None-the-less I do feel more comfortable. And I also understand why Gwen speaks of him as she does. You're lucky to have him on your team."

"Another thing I have to agree with you on," acknowledged Jack. "It's beginning to be a bit of a habit."

"I reckon there's probably a lot we do agree on, just need time to find it."

"And a little less testosterone," quipped Tosh.

"Nope," argued Jack.

"No way," contended Rhys.

"See," said Tosh, "already you're finding more common ground."

"Bloody hell, you're as quick as Ianto," Rhys spluttered, before asking Jack, "How do you cope?"

"I have my ways," Jack simply grinned and waggled his eyebrows.

"Actually there's quite a list, Sir." Ianto had returned just as the last exchange was happening and his eyes were twinkling with amusement. "So, no need to stock up on popcorn, then?"

"Nope!" three voices all concurred.

"No plankton, no popcorn, just chocolate and coffee. Easy shopping." Turning his attention to Rhys, he remarked cryptically, "It would appear the aliens are in your world and living down the street after all."

"I don't follow, what are you saying?" Rhys questioned with curiosity.

"I just met one of your drivers; we played against him this afternoon."

"And?" Rhys was perplexed, and then he remembered their earlier conversation. "What, no, bullshit!"

"Yep, he's here with his boyfriend." Seeing Rhys's look of amazement, Ianto chuckled, "That's what he called him. So maybe not living down the street, but you've definitely got an alien driving one of your trucks. Seems they are in your world after all."

"Well, I'll be buggered!" Rhys exclaimed without thinking.

"I wouldn't say that, Rhys, not to him at least, he's already asked if I was your secret sideline!"

"Ahh, now you're just having me on," Rhys sounded uncertain, as Tosh collapsed with mirth. Through his own laughter, Jack stirred the pot, "It would appear you're gaining a further reputation, Mr Williams."

"No, seriously he did," an entertained Ianto told Rhys. "I did however put him straight, so to speak. He wonders if you could spare a minute, he wants to talk to us about rugby, and for you to meet his partner."

"Yeah, of course," a still somewhat surprised Rhys replied. "Bloody hell, more expansion of the boundaries." He slid out of the booth and made to head off, but Ianto caught his arm. Turning to Jack and Tosh he said, "Only if you don't mind of, course."

Jack waved them away, "No, you go, Tosh and I can look after ourselves …again. And bring us back some drinks." He and Tosh laughed and they moved closer to sit side by side in a corner of the booth, as Rhys and Ianto walked away. Jack observed with fascination the easy camaraderie between them. Without shifting his attention he remarked, "Seems like Gwen was right, they really are good together."

"I'm not surprised, she was right to think that being Welsh and playing rugby was a good start to what could probably be a real friendship. I know she's hoping for that."

"Funnily enough, so am I," Jack admitted. "Ianto needs that breath of outside air and this afternoon has obviously been good for him. I can't recall when he looked so alive, so relaxed, so confident." As Tosh was sipping her drink, Jack mused for a moment and then asked, "Do you think it's good for him to be locked away with us?"

Tosh responded immediately, "He's not exactly locked away, though, is he? He does go home, he has time away – even if it is with you! I mean you guys are having a night off together in a couple of days, I can't imagine you'll be staying in the Hub?"

"Of course not, we're going out. We have a date for the opera. In the Millennium Centre, La Traviata, it's a big gala night and we thought it could be fun."

"Wow, Jack, that's wonderful. A very proper date." She leant against him. "No wonder you've been so keen on knowing if the Rift would be quiet. The predictions are that all will be quiet for at least another week, so nothing should intrude; if it does we'll do our best to cover it."

Letting his admiration for her shine, Jack said with feeling, "That's been a brilliant initiative of yours, Tosh, forecasting the Rift activity with so much accuracy. It allows us all to be a bit more human. I mean, look at Gwen - she and Rhys were able to get a weekend in Paris. And Ianto and I can get real time together. Which of course," he gave her a piercing look, "leaves you and Owen. I'm trusting you to make the most of your time out, Tosh - learn a language, play the piano, go cycling, meet someone special. You deserve it and we're all better for it."

"We are, and I will, Jack, I promise." She thought for a moment, and went on quietly, "I have to, I want to honour a promise I made to Tommy."

A quizzical look passed over Jack's face, and before Tosh could continue he stopped her by laying a hand on hers. He took a moment before suggesting gently, "You don't have to tell me, but if you do, I would be happy to listen."

She laughed with affection. "When have I ever not wanted to tell you anything? Even with all your secrets, I've always thought of you as the man I could most trust with mine." She stopped and took a sip of her wine, Jack a sip of his whisky. He waited for her to continue, knowing she would in her own time. When she did she said with a tinge of regret, "And that's true even with what happened earlier in the year."

"That's done and over, Tosh, so let it go. And I'm honoured, really, by what you say about secrets. That's something I've learnt a bit about this year. We seem to be better for not having as many." He smiled ruefully at her. "So, you want to tell me another one?"

Tosh laughed. "So much for trying diversion tactics. Okay, that last time with Tommy, before he went back he asked me what I'd done with my year. He reminded me I'd said I was going to do a number of things. Of course I had to tell him I hadn't and he chastised me for it."

"Smart man," said Jack quietly.

"Yes, he was, anyway before we left my apartment he made me promise that I wouldn't let life be just about work. We knew what was coming for him, and it was pretty emotional. I gave him my promise and now I have to keep it, in his memory."

Trying to hold back his own reaction, Jack grasped her hand more tightly, and met her gaze. He said softly, "Promises to the dying are promises we have to keep. It helps keep them alive in our memory too."

"I know, and so I have to honour mine to Tommy." She gave him a look asking for support. "Don't let me ever forget, Jack." When he didn't respond, she said very gently, "I'm sorry, it's insensitive of me, talking about one promise, when you must have many."

"So many," Jack said simply, shifting his focus and looking away. Tosh followed his eyes and found he was seeking Ianto. As she too found him, she saw him laughing with Rhys, and sharing a conversation with two other men. Watching for a moment, her impression was of an ordinary moment in a perfectly ordinary way, and she delighted in it.

Feeling his grip relax its hold, she questioned simply, "Jack?" and let him respond with whatever thoughts he was having. Jack let go of her hand and held his own out in the direction of Ianto. When he spoke his voice was a mixture of emotion and understanding.

"We can't give him everything, the team can't, and I can't. He's his own man in so many ways, he does so much for us and with so little fuss that it's sometimes easy to forget what he's been through and how strong he is. And look at him now, he fits in, like none of it has ever happened."

Tosh said quietly, "He's a good match for you then." She chuckled as much to lighten the emotions of the moment as for any real humour and added, "Despite the age difference."

Jack joined her soft laughter but when he responded it was to pick up on her first comment, "You think we're a good match?"

"Of course you are," Tosh replied gently, before explaining why. "There's a certain logic to you. You, too, have been through so much – it's hard to imagine just how much – and it is impossible to deny that you're strong, you have to be given…" she waved a hand at him in explanation, "and sometimes you act as if none of it ever happened; you fit in and it's as though your entire world is now." Seeing he was somewhat taken aback by her assessment she changed her tone, "Except of course when you're telling us of your exploits with multi-limbed aliens, or twin acrobats, or indeed when a former partner turns up, then we really do get that you have a past. And I suspect Ianto understands that."

Jack smiled ruefully. "I'm surprised he hasn't run as far as he could."

"Like you say, he's strong, and his own man. They're your words, Jack," Tosh replied with measured calm. "And he's here. I don't doubt that if he wanted to leave he would, he's certainly strong enough to understand the consequences and still make the choice." She looked at him enquiringly. "I take it you haven't talked about it."

"No, some things, lots of things, we're still finding our way to." He gave her a grin. "You know how it is, getting to know someone. There's stuff you can talk about easily enough and other things that take time. And I don't think I've ever really thought about him running away, it would be like tempting fate."

When Tosh said nothing and appeared to shift her attention, Jack asked with some perception, "Okay, Tosh, what do you know?"

"I really can't say, Jack." Knowing she'd inadvertently aroused his curiosity she attempted a pleading look to have him let it go. It was bounced back at her with a look of determination to know.

"He doesn't know that I know, so I really shouldn't say anything," she implored.

"What if we use their rules?" Jack persisted.

"Okay, but only if we use their rugby club rules. Between us only, you agree?" insisted Tosh.

"Agreed, now what is it?" It was almost a command.

Tosh exhaled loudly and slumped a little, still uncertain if she was revealing something she shouldn't. "Yes, he did consider it. Only once, and it was while you were gone. None of us were handling that, and certainly none of us handled the lack of decisive leadership at first. We were coming apart at the seams. So none of us thought to consider how your leaving might have affected him for reasons other than just workload. I guess he was angry and isolated."

"But how do you know he thought to leave?" Jack asked with determined curiosity.

"I'm a computer whiz, Jack, and I found some signs. There was some evidence he was seriously contemplating it. But he didn't."

"Do you know why?"

"Remember us telling you about the mind altering seeds thing, 'The Seeds of Plenty' as Ianto took to calling them." Jack nodded and she continued, "Well, we needed him and he realised it. I also think he found his real role; he managed us quietly without being the leader if that makes sense. So he stayed. He was different after that, as though he understood better what he was committed to." As comprehension dawned, she said quietly, "He didn't leave when you were gone, so don't you dare think he's now here only because of you."

Jack sagged back against the booth, and groaned, "My remarkable Toshiko, how is it you can hit me on things I'm not even aware of!"

She smiled wryly. "I didn't know I was going to until I said it, so no need to credit me with any wisdom."

"Oh, I could never give you enough credit for your wisdom, and you did indeed hit on something for me to ponder. And I meant it, I won't say anything unless he talks about it." He raised his glass and they toasted each other. As they did they heard Rhys's booming laugh and, looking up, they watched the small group of men around him respond in kind.

After a moment Tosh asked, "So you truly believe it was the right outcome, not retconning Rhys?"

"Yes," came the simple reply. "With the benefit of hindsight, yes. And I think it's another lesson about secrets, don't you?"

Before Tosh could respond their attention was diverted by the appearance of Gwen and Owen. They were making their way to the booth, each carrying a pint glass of beer.

As they sat on the opposite side of the booth, Jack queried them on the call-out.

Gwen replied to his questions, "All a bit of a waste of time really, some copper found something he couldn't explain, he called it in and poor old Andy is asked to call me. It wasn't for us at all."

"No traces of Rift activity?" Tosh asked.

"None, as we knew anyway," replied Owen taking a large slug of his beer. "And the kid's fine, my diagnosis is he has some form of epilepsy which no one knew about, which explains the body motions. The so called strange tech was simply a piece of long forgotten precision engineering, possibly Victorian era. Put the two together and the bright boy in blue jumped to an unnecessary conclusion."

"But we still had to check it out, we'll give you a full report tomorrow, Jack," justified Gwen, also beginning to enjoy her beer. Looking around the crowded bar she spotted Rhys and Ianto. "There they are, I knew they must have been here by now. Who is it they're talking to?"

"Apparently one of them is a friend of Rhys," answered Tosh, "from work."

"Hmm, don't recognise them. You've seen them? How did their rugby go?"

Keeping a straight face Jack responded, "Seems to have gone well. And it looks like you'll find out for yourself any minute because they've obviously noticed you've arrived."

Jack's assessment was proved correct as a minute later, after they'd said what were obviously farewells and Rhys had spoken briefly with the barman, they made their way back to the booth.

As they arrived Owen greeted them in his best drawling manner, "Ah look, it's Teaboy and the Beef Burger, finally decided to join us, have you?"

"The what?" Rhys snapped.

Gwen replied with some derision, "Don't worry about it, Rhys, it's no big deal."

Ianto laughed. "Not at all, Gwen, with what I saw today I'd say it's a very big deal. In fact I'd suggest Owen is paying Rhys a compliment."

"You would?" she replied with surprise.

"Here we go," remarked Owen, regretting he'd made the comment. "Teaboy gets the better of me once again."

"We'll see, Owen," Ianto smoothly replied. "Now c'mon, what's a beef burger made of?" He paused and when they all looked at him as if waiting for the punch-line he said with pleasure, "Nice white buns and a large slice of meat. I'd say Rhys is well named, he's got both."

As Gwen's brow furrowed, both Jack and Tosh sat back with matching smiles, each realising that the innuendo game was about to recommence.

"Score another one for Jones," drawled Owen shaking his head with a grin. "Do not give that man another beer - he's too bloody quick as it is."

"That's what I said earlier," Rhys agreed with some reluctance. As Owen made to stand to allow Rhys to sit next to Gwen, Ianto waved a hand at him. "No, don't move, if all of you just slide around a bit Rhys and I can sit here."

As Jack and Tosh shuffled around to sit closer to Gwen and Owen, Ianto and Rhys slid into the vacated side of the booth. Gwen looked at Jack with some puzzlement, trying to determine his reaction to the matey bonhomie that seemed out of character for at least one of the participants.

"I like it, it's good." He met her eye with a huge grin and added, "And they didn't need my help."

"A natural connection doesn't need any help, you know that." Ianto gave Jack a winning smile before downing the remains of his beer. It was good timing, for just as he placed his empty glass on the table a waitress appeared carrying a tray of drinks.

"Who ordered these?" asked Owen, eyes shifting between the new pint and his half-finished one.

"That would have been Big Boy here," Ianto replied, smiling at Owen, as he leant into Rhys and gave him a nudge with his shoulder.

Her eyes widening at the action, the waitress gave Ianto a huge smile, and said with a note of gloating, "Oh my god, that's so cool, I can't wait to tell Merwyn she's got no chance." She hurriedly finished distributing the drinks and left them.

Gwen raised a teasing eyebrow and asked Ianto, "Big Boy? And just who is Merwyn?"

He shrugged and was about to respond when Tosh cut across him, "I think she's another waitress, one who took a shine to Ianto, she wanted to rate him!"

"Geez, another bloody fan-girl. How do you do it, Teaboy?" Owen asked with vexation.

"Perhaps by being gorgeous, Owen - your word I think." Tosh interjected to the amusement of all but one.

Jack prevented Owen from returning a snarky comment by saying to Ianto with a touch of uncertainty, "But she thought you and Rhys…"

Aware of how Jack's insecurities might have been prodded a little over the course of the evening, Ianto affectionately explained, "She might also have seen us talking with Rhys's mate and his boyfriend and made an assumption. They were obviously a couple, so perhaps she presumed that me and Big Boy-"

"And did you give her any evidence for that presumption?" an equally uncertain Gwen interrupted.

Rhys chuckled, and slyly answered, "We were being appropriately friendly in the spirit of the conversation."

"So what do you call appropriately friendly? And which mate of yours is gay with a boyfriend?" she persisted.

Rhys decided to ease up on her for the moment by giving the information she was seeking. "He's not really a mate, or at least he wasn't. He works for us, he's a driver and he played against us this afternoon. And the conversation was about rugby. They're both rugby players, gay rugby players as it happens – apparently there's a team made up of gay blokes who play in the local competition. "

"The Cardiff Lions," added Ianto, "they asked us if we wanted to join."

"Hmmm, lions playing games," Jack mused, winking at Ianto. "Imagine that! I could -"

Gwen cut him off before he could go any further, "Yes, thank you, no need to go on."

"I'm with P.C. Cooper," agreed Owen.

"Aww, come on, don't be spoilsports," Jack retorted with glee. "It can be fun."

Ianto gave Jack a sly grin, and received a bemused smile in return before telling Owen, "Sometimes we play Caged Lion, that's a really great game."

"And just what the fuck is Caged Lion?" Owen asked with uncertainty.

"Oh c'mon, Owen, work it out, it's easy enough," came Ianto's challenging response.

Owen's expression suggested he was still perplexed, and he said, "Nope, mate, I'm afraid you've lost me on that one."

Making certain he had everyone's attention Ianto finally explained, "Caged Lion: he roars and I throw the meat in."

Tosh began to giggle uncontrollably, "Oh that is good, filthy but so good."

While Owen groaned and shook his head, and Jack laughed as Rhys spluttered into his drink, Gwen shrieked, "Oh my god, Ianto, what has gotten into you?"

"Your fiancé would be the short answer, although short is probably not the right word given -"

Gwen held up her hand to stop him and turned her attention to Rhys who merely shrugged his shoulders and said, "You wanted us to bond, and so we did."

Gwen gasped, "And just what happened in this bonding that's turned Ianto so …so …so bloke?"

"Ah, sorry, love, can't tell you that. I'd be breaching rugby club rules if I did, and Mr Jones here would impose a stiff penalty for any violation." He pointedly gave Ianto a familiar nudge with his shoulder.

With a wink at Rhys, Tosh innocently interjected, "Perhaps it's the wrong question, Gwen, and maybe you should be asking exactly how they bonded. That shouldn't contravene their rules."

"Thanks, Tosh, good point, so exactly how did you two bond?" Gwen asked with a hint of impatience.

"We got hot," answered Rhys.

"We got sweaty," supplied Ianto.

"And you got naked," added Jack, amused by the way Gwen was being strung along.

"Keep your fantasies to yourself, Harkness," she quickly retorted.

"Sorry to say it, but that's not just Jack's fantasy, we did get naked …and sweaty …and hot," Rhys elaborated slowly, before raising his pint glass. He swung his free arm along the back of the booth, behind Ianto's shoulders.

"For ages," Ianto drawled, before leaning across the table and gravelly whispering, "and he dropped the soap."

"That I did," Rhys agreed in a husky tone before continuing, "As it was the first meeting of the Torchwood Husbands' Naked Bonding Club, someone had to."

"The what?" exclaimed Gwen.

"Torchwood Husbands?" whispered a bewildered Jack to Tosh. "But I'm not -"

"That's a violation, Big Boy!" roared Ianto, giving Rhys a playful punch, and thoroughly enjoying the way things were playing out.

"So! I can take any stiff penalty you give me," Rhys joyfully bellowed back. Dropping his arm off the backrest he captured Ianto in an embrace that was more headlock than hug. Pretending to struggle, Ianto retaliated with a sharp jab in the ribs. Letting out a huff, Rhys challenged him, "What? Can't take a hard tackle, Bender Boy?" He released his hold a little, although he let his arm stay resting loosely on Ianto's shoulders.

"Hah! You know I can, I proved that this afternoon."

"You did that for sure," Rhys replied with real admiration.

Taken aback by their easy familiarity and noticing that not only had Rhys's arm stayed on Ianto's shoulders but they were also sharing a smile, Gwen spluttered, "Would someone please tell me what is going on here? And what exactly went on this afternoon?"

Rhys feigned a look of some sympathy. "Hate to say it again, but sorry, love, really I am. It is true though, I can't tell you. That's the meaning of rugby club rules."

"He's right, Gwen, what happens in the clubrooms stays in the clubrooms," added Ianto. "Otherwise we couldn't bond. But if it helps, I can tell you that we did bond well, and that we …well …remind me again, Big Boy, how did you describe it?" He looked at Rhys, hoping he would remember his exact phrasing.

Rhys thought for a moment. "Ah yes," he said with a touch of pleasure, "my words I think were 'you, me, naked, sauna' and you agreed." The inflection he gave his words suggested he'd made Ianto a proposition rather than a nervous statement of concern.

Casting a look around for support from the highly amused but otherwise silent audience, Gwen caught Owen's eye. Genuinely enjoying the interplay, he slyly asked, "You still sure Teaboy was the right choice for bonding with Rhys, P.C. Cooper?"

"Yeah," laughed Jack, unable to resist taking back the victory scored earlier, "maybe Ianto's not so much the side dish for supper as the main course."

Owen took it further. With a sardonic smile, clearly recalling comments Gwen had made, he said boldly, "Or maybe the chef's tired of serving the same dish, no matter how satisfied the customer."

He was rewarded with a glare from Tosh, one that clearly suggested he back off given the present company. Somewhat stung by the force of her look he gave an almost imperceptible nod to show he'd seen her suggestion. Ignoring Owen's comment, Gwen looked to Rhys for reassurance.

Again shrugging his shoulders, he failed to provide it. "You never know, love, Torchwood expands people's boundaries, and you were the one who suggested we get to know each other, and you are right, he is gorgeous. Plus Ianto did tell me I have a fine form and above average tackling."

"Ianto Jones! You can think it but, please, do you have to say it?" she entreated Ianto.

"There's the pot calling the kettle black - multi-tasking banquet anyone?" murmured Tosh.

As she noticed the quivering lips and creased brows of her colleagues as they tried to suppress their laughter, Gwen realised she'd been set-up for teasing. She sat back and good-naturedly joined in the laughter, "Oh come on, you lot, what is this – bash Gwen Cooper night!"

"A spot of Gwen bashing – always good for the soul," an amused Owen chuckled into his beer.

"Owen!" exclaimed Tosh. Her exasperated expression let him know he'd overstepped. As she continued, she added a touch of levity to her voice, "At least Rhys is able to say Ianto is gorgeous of his own free will, unlike someone I could name!"

Before Owen could reply Gwen added with some satisfaction, "And he's man enough to be comfortable joking about the possibilities of a bit of fun with a bloke." She sat back and took a drink from her beer, giving Owen a smirk of victory. Her sense of contentment did not last long, and she spluttered her mouthful onto the table as Rhys drawled slyly, "Who says I'm only joking?"

"Way to go, Rhys." Laughed Jack, conscious that the simmering tensions between Owen and Gwen could turn ugly if Rhys was to take offence at any reply Owen might make. "I might get that double serving of Welsh breakfast after all!" Hoping to shift Owen's focus of attention he turned and gave him the full lascivious grin and waggle of his eyebrows, loading his voice with as much innuendo as possible, "Maybe we could even have some English sausage too; what about it, Owen, care to join us?"

"In your dreams, Harkness." Owen responded as Jack had expected he would, with a mixture of humour and sarcasm. Keeping his attention, Jack joked at him, "C'mon, maybe you just need a little boundary expansion."

"No need," smirked Owen, "You're assuming I've never been with a man. I have as a matter of fact, and it was fun!" He smiled broadly at the looks of astonishment on all their faces as he elaborated, "Just once, a bloke and his girlfriend I met in a bar, ended up we had the whole banquet of courses. Found it quite satisfying, we did."

"But, Owen! You, you're so straight!" The surprise in his voice matched Jack's astonishment at finding himself forced onto the back foot by Owen's revelation.

Owen grinned, delighted for once to have the upper hand, "That doesn't mean I don't bend."

"Like spaghetti," quipped Tosh, "raise the water temperature, and you'll bend."

"You've been holding out on me, Owen" Jack said with a hint of challenge.

Smiling with joy at the pleasure of a win over Jack, Owen drawled, "Ahh, see that's the thing, Jack, the water's gotta be boiling. Could be I never found yours quite hot enough. Maybe you need to make it boil."

"Don't boil him too long or he'll go limp," Ianto deadpanned to Jack.

"And again," muttered Owen with a perplexed shake of his head.

"Seems like you could get the full English breakfast to go with your Welsh one," Rhys raised his glass at Jack, indicating he understood what had transpired and was grateful. "Sounds like a complete menu."

"Could we please change the subject?" interjected Gwen, vaguely unsettled by the easy relationship Rhys appeared to have established with Jack. "Straight woman over here, beginning to feel a bit superfluous, and you -" she waved a finger at Rhys, "you're not helping."

"What have I done?" he responded. "But since it seems like all the Torchwood blokes have done it, why not, eh, try a bit of the old same-same. And I'm sort of a Torchwood bloke now; it'd give us something in common. Owen said its fun, and Jack and Ianto, well ...pretty obvious what they think, so-"

"Don't forget me, I've done it too," said Tosh with a sly grin, before shrugging, "although she was really an alien."

"You've had sex with an alien?" Rhys asked with genuine astonishment.

Tosh simply nodded and toasted him with her wine glass before taking a sip.

"So have I," Jack remarked in a monotone that suggested no-one would be surprised.

Thinking of an alien gas controlled Clarys, Owen said, "I nearly did," and then, thinking of Dianne, he added softly, "but I have with a time-traveller."

"Yep, been there, done that too," said Jack, again in a tone that was simply matter of fact.

Tosh smiled. "Oh, me too, though he was frozen. In time I mean, not when we…" She was unable to complete her sentence for the laughter her words had created, and she took a gulp of her wine as her face flushed with mild mortification.

As the amusement around the table continued, Ianto came to her rescue. "I've had both an alien and a time-traveller, and more efficiently than you two," he declared, pointing at Owen and Tosh. "I got mine both at the one time." He flashed Jack a smile as Owen, shaking his head, muttered with a grin, "Bloody Teaboy once again, always does it better."

Rhys leant against Ianto and quirking an eyebrow commented lewdly, "So you've eaten alien -"

"Enough, Rhys, please!" Gwen's demand was almost a bellow. "They don't need encouragement!"

All heads turned toward Gwen, and it was Jack who responded first, "I seem to recall you asked me that exact question not too long ago, so what's the problem?"

Gwen fired back, "I don't have a problem with innuendo, Jack, you know that, it's just-"

"You're feeling a bit left out because you haven't had an alien or a time traveller or a bit of same-same action like the rest of us," suggested Owen in his best drawling manner. "Unless you include snogging Clarys."

"Owen, enough!" Tosh exclaimed, but her further remarks were stopped by Rhys.

"Snogging Clarys? You snogged a woman?" he asked Gwen, trying to keep his voice light with amusement, despite his surprise. "That's something you didn't tell me in Paris. So who was she?"

Gwen exhaled in annoyance at being put on the spot. "She was a Cardiff girl, under the influence of an alien aphrodisiac gas - impossible to resist if you got too close, as Owen well knows." She flashed a 'take that' glare at Owen.

Seeing Rhys's confusion, Ianto quietly gave him reassurance, "All true, every detail." He received a nod of thanks before Rhys faced Gwen again and asked quietly, "Any other stories I should know about?"

She threw a glance at Owen before saying, "Nope, you know it all."

A hush descended as the implications of Gwen's statement were absorbed. Seeing that Owen was about to react, Rhys held up a hand and looking directly at him said, "I know, and I understand why, and as far as I'm concerned it's done with." He lifted his glass and took a mouthful of beer, an action matched in accord by a silenced Owen.

Jack stepped in, saying to Gwen, "Before Owen took us down that path you were about to say something, something about the innuendo, you want to tell us what it was?"

'What I was about to say was simply that I wondered if it all had to be so overt, that was all, it all seems so locker room," Gwen said with a hint of irritation.

Rhys attempted to soothe her, "Aw, come on, love, we've been playing rugby and you know what that's like. And you were hoping me and Ianto would get on, and here, look, we are. And I've done well with Jackie Boy, and-"

Cutting him off before he could launch into a full scale rant, Gwen replied with a touch of weariness, waving her hand around the occupants of the booth, "I know, I just didn't expect it to be all so, I don't know, so male."

Jack and Owen and Ianto exchanged looks that registered a bemused offence.

"Hang on," snorted Jack. "I'm not sure why you think it wouldn't be. Four men at this table, Gwen, so how could it not be?"

"Yeah, Jack, four men and two women, and guess who dominates!" she replied with exasperation.

"She's got a point," remarked Tosh in a quiet voice.

"You think so?" Jack asked her quizzically, as Gwen sniffed, "Thank you."

Tosh took in a breath and held out her hands to placate both Jack and Gwen. Her action forced them to sit back. "Hang on, I do agree you have a point, and sometimes we do get drowned out by the testosterone. And there's been a lot of it tonight. But Jack and Rhys are also right - it is that kind of night. We held our own this afternoon, Gwen, tonight's different. They," she indicated Rhys and Ianto, "they've had a bonding session at rugby." She laughed. "And a naked conversation in a sauna."

Ianto interjected, "That we did, a sweaty confessional with lots of meaty topics."

Gwen groaned, and somewhat pleadingly said, "And that's what I mean. It doesn't seem like you, Ianto."

"But it is." Although Ianto spoke quietly there was a tangible strength in his reply. "I'm a Welshman, I drink beer and I play rugby, I just don't do it at work." After he drained the last of his beer he gave her a searching look, and then with steady seriousness suggested, "You wouldn't be worried that we've bonded a bit too well, that Rhys knows a lot more about us than he did before, and you don't know what that is?"

"You bugger," Gwen's eyes widened and she ruefully smiled at him, before she conceded the point. "You're probably right, what with the teasing before, and those two getting on really well," she pointed at Rhys and Jack, "and you and Rhys acting like a pair of Neanderthal men, it's all a bit strange. I feel a bit like there's some weird alien beast on the loose and I don't know where it's going to run."

"So let it run, it's a new friendship, that's all. It'll be fun," Ianto responded. "Rhys is a good bloke. I like him." As a murmured ripple of agreement ran around the booth, Gwen looked at them both, genuine affection spreading across her face.

"Okay, Ianto, thank you, I can see that you do. I'm just being stupid. So, yeah, let it run, you're right again."

"He's a god, so when is he not?" quipped Owen, before he too drained his beer.

Taking a look at the others Rhys noticed that, apart from his own, all drinks had been finished, and the table was littered with empty glasses. He drank the last of his beer and said, "Seems as good a point as any to say I think it's time we headed off. Work again tomorrow and I might, before then, have to prove to the good lady I haven't been brought to the boil at any stage today."

Amid the acknowledgements of agreement that it was indeed time to depart, Gwen's comment of, "Too much information, Rhys," was heard only by Tosh, who whispered back, "You lucky thing, surely you're not complaining?"

Gwen replied with a waggle of her eyebrows, "I've never minded a late supper."

"I'm with you on that," giggled Tosh, as she followed Jack and slid around the seat so she could stand.

Gathering up what few articles they had with them, the team made their way through the crowded bar. As they passed through the door, Jack was delayed by two young women, both of whom had had a little too much to drink and were teetering on their heels. Standing back to hold the door, Jack greeted them with a dazzling smile and said, "Hello Ladies!" as one after the other they stepped onto the pavement.

"Oh …umm …hello," came the giggling response from one of the girls before the other noticed Ianto. He was standing slightly apart from the rest of the team as he waited for Jack. She thrust herself against him and tossed an arm around his neck. "Ooooh, hi there gorgeous, and where are you off to?" she simpered with a swish of her hair, as her eyes widened with wickedness.

Ianto smiled as he gently removed her arm, saying politely, "I'm off home."

Her eyes widened further and her tone grew huskier, "I could keep you company – shouldn't be on your own, a fit bloke like you. So how about it, can I come? Oh go on, say I can."

As Jack came to stand alongside, her friend noticed that he was wearing something that seemed to combine a grin and a scowl. Tapping Ianto's accoster on the shoulder she said, "Wasting your time, Shelly, reckon he's already sorted for the night."

Shelly was not inclined to give up, "He's not …you're not …are you?"

Ianto smiled and said, "I am," as the friend indicated to Shelly who it was that he was leaving with.

"Oh …no …you sure?" Her head turning between Jack and Ianto, she finally stepped back and with a hint of sullenness mixed with her disbelief she said shortly, "No harm in tryin'. Can't blame me for tryin'."

She grabbed her friend's arm and they walked away. Linking their arms in a gesture of solidarity, her friend consoled her in a voice loud enough to be heard across the street, "You shoulda realised, Shelly, like a gay marriage poster, them two."

"S'pose …it's always the gorgeous ones. Shame really," the one named Shelly said with a moan.

"Yeah, shame." What followed was a giggle and then a raucous screech, "aww, but Shell …think about them two together …all hot and naked …and doin' it!" Their squeals of delight faded with the sound of their clacking heels as they tottered their way down the street.

When they had gone some distance the lid on the amusement of the team was lifted, and laughter erupted. Amid their delight, Ianto turned to Jack and drolly remarked, "And now we're a fantasy for straight women."

Jack beamed and was about to respond when Rhys cut across him, "Jack and Ianto: the straight woman's dream. Nah, bit of a mouthful that – no pun intended," he taunted with a wicked grin, "but I could however suggest a -"

Ianto sharply stepped forward. "Do. Not. Say. Another. Word." he demanded, prodding Rhys in the chest with a finger on each word.

"And if I do?" Rhys prodded back.

"Best buy popcorn, Tosh, looks like there's a new stag on the block," whispered Owen. Ignoring the aside, Ianto replied to Rhys with a smirking challenge, "I could give them an image to really get them going."

"And just what would that be, Bender Boy?"

"Well, Big Boy, that would be you, me, sauna, naked, hot and sweaty …could draw them a few pictures."

Rhys rumbled with laughter. "You're a mad bugger, Jones, that's Alice in Wonderland, that is!"

"Mmmm, maybe it is, but it's definitely an image to drift off to, and it is my bedtime," crooned Tosh, pointedly looking at her watch.

"Toshiko Sato!" Jack and Gwen chorused - one with delight, the other with horror.

"What?" retorted Tosh. "Men don't have a mortgage on smutty thoughts. Do you seriously think they can talk about hard tackles and sweaty saunas and a bit of the same-same all night and my head's not going to be full of interesting images?" She added with a speculative grin, "I don't suppose there's CCTV; it would have been nice to broaden the cast list in my collection!"

As Jack and Ianto shared looks of horrified amazement, Rhys shook his head. "I still can't work out when you lot are serious!"

"Welcome to Torchwood," said Owen, "and on that note, I think it's time to move on."

Smiling with genuine pleasure, Rhys pulled Ianto into a bear hug, one which Ianto returned with matching strength. Sharing a smile with Gwen, Jack remarked, "Successful bonding accomplished."

Gwen nodded, before calling out, "Oi, you two, no butting antlers," prompting Rhys and Ianto to release their hug with a laugh.

As he stepped back Rhys asked, "Do you guys need a lift?"

Ianto considered the suggestion, "Thanks anyway, but no, now the rain's stopped and there's no wind it might be a nice night for a walk."

"Almost like a date," Rhys chuckled, "just the two of you."

"Perhaps it is, and I'll give you a call, and we'll do this again." Ianto laughed as he stepped toward Tosh.

"Look forward to it, mate," responded Rhys as he moved to shake hands with Owen. It took a little time before all farewells were said, some with hugs, others with a handshake and a clap on the back, and for some a peck on the cheek. As he shook Rhys's hand Jack quietly said, "Thank you." His words were acknowledged with a slight strengthening of the grip on his hand, before they moved on.

Watching four of them walk away - Rhys and Gwen escorting Tosh to her car, and Owen heading in the opposite direction - Jack said quietly, "Alone, just us."

"Been some time," Ianto responded while glancing at his watch. He looked up to see Jack beaming at him with a wicked grin. Realising what he must be thinking Ianto continued with a roll of his eyes, "I'm only checking the time, I am not counting the hours and minutes since we last saw each other."

"Sure about that?" Jack teased, as they began to walk.

"However much I missed you, and whatever my traits, I am not OCD, Jack."

"Oh, I think you are," Jack chuckled, "Obviously Completely Desirable, so very definitely OCD, and -"

Ianto held up his hand in a motion to stop him continuing. He exhaled wearily. "Please, no more, I think I've had more than my fair share of compliments for today."

Glancing at him, Jack recognised that he was serious, so spoke quietly, "Been a bit too much for you, huh?"

"You could say that, yeah," Ianto responded honestly. "Don't get me wrong, it's been nice in a strange way, but it got wearing: first that conversation all of you had in the Hub in front of me, then it was Rhys at the rugby, and now all of that back there. Feels like I've been the focus of attention all day."

"You certainly weren't avoiding it a little while ago, seemed to me you were quite enjoying it," Jack said, curious as to how Ianto would explain the seeming difference.

As they kept walking Ianto kicked his shoes through several piles of leaves, disordering their neatness with a chuckle. He eventually replied, "Yep, that's me caught out."

Placing a hand on his shoulder Jack gently said, "No, I don't think you have been - you want to tell me what is going on?"

"It's all the compliments, Jack, all the 'you're so gorgeous' lines. I'm not used to them." Aware that Jack would probably want to comment he gestured for him not to, and attempted to explain, "I'm not unaware - I know I'm fast with a quick quip or a droll remark. So all the banter tonight, it just …it seemed appropriate, or …I don't now …me, somehow. Like a touch of freedom." He laughed affectionately. "And Rhys seems to have the same sense of humour so-"

"You two played it up, and very effectively too." Knowing he was hearing an insight into Ianto's view of himself, Jack made sure his remark was sincere and invited Ianto to continue.

"He's a good bloke, and we do have a lot in common, so that was easy." Ianto gave Jack a nudge in the ribs with his elbow. "And it was fun, stirring you all up, I do admit that, and it was satisfying letting out that part of me at a higher volume. Unusual, but satisfying - straying from the norm."

"I like that you stray from the norm." Jack turned his head and gave Ianto a wink, before facing front again. "But I'm not clear, if it was satisfying, why the weariness?"

"Introverts always find public performances tiring, we can do it briefly but it is exhausting." It was a throwaway remark to enable Ianto time to marshal his thoughts. When he had, he linked his arm with Jack's. "Seriously, it's probably a combination of too many compliments, and feeling like I've been performing a different me all day, more out there, more visible, and besides," he finished with a laugh, "I'm not usually the front man, that's your role!"

"And what's your role then?" Jack asked with genuine interest as a car went by, spraying water in its wake.

"Mine, Sir, is to be the support for you, in the background, always impeccable and always ready with a droll line to silence the madness," Ianto chuckled, and then with some seriousness added, "While we are on the subject, I have a further confession about this afternoon."

"Oh, and what exactly is that?"

Ianto took a deep breath and withdrew his arm as he kicked away another pile of fallen leaves. "Okay, here it is, I enjoyed being out of the Hub, away from Torchwood, and doing something else. Playing rugby again was great …really great." He laughed and continued, "And I'm not sure if you'll like this one, but I loved being in the Hub out of a suit, it made for a nice change."

"Well, it certainly was a surprise, as I think you realised," Jack replied. "Quite the conversation stopper."

"I think you mean to say conversation starter," joked Ianto, before continuing with more intensity, "and that's what I mean, everybody expects me to wear the suit. As if I can't wear anything else or be anything else. And when I do they start nattering away and –"

"I think that was more about what you were wearing than what you were not wearing," Jack quietly cut across him, keeping all traces of innuendo from his voice. He added softly, "I love the suits."

"I know you do, but sometimes it's just nice to be out of them," Ianto said with something approaching a weary lament.

Placing an arm across the back of Ianto's shoulders, Jack turned his head to take in Ianto's profile and said, "Tell me." He faced forward again to allow Ianto the time and the space to respond.

They had walked several more strides before Ianto began, "Sometimes when I see me in a mirror I think 'Oh god, another suit', it's not me unless I'm in a suit -with the stopwatch, always the stopwatch. And the tie and the shirt. If it was a play I'd be the butler coming on to bring order back to chaos. Enter Stage Left: Ianto Jones, the man in the suit, with stopwatch; it all makes me sound like a cliché!" Taking a couple of quick steps he swung his body around and began to walk backwards, a pace or two ahead of Jack. Arms spread wide as if delivering an oration he declaimed: "I am a cliché! Ianto Jones, the man in the suit, is a cliché!"

Jack listened with genuine pleasure at another insight, this time into Ianto's ability to laugh at himself, before replying, "You can make it sound like that, doesn't make it true. But then," he smirked, "consider who you're talking to." He too began to laugh. "Was there ever a more clichéd man than me: 'The handsome hero in the big coat' - complete with jawline -come to save the day, won't stay dead, and always getting the man – or girl or whatever."

"I love your coat," Ianto replied quietly. "And you're not a cliché, not to me." He stopped his backward walking and waited for Jack to approach.

"Really, you think?" replied Jack with a quizzical tilt of his head, as Ianto turned again and fell into step alongside him. They continued walking, both looking at the street ahead.

After a few paces of silence, Ianto began to chuckle and then laugh softly. "Well okay, maybe you are, just a bit. So I'm a cliché and you're a cliché …we're both clichés! Could be a recipe for a perfect pairing."

"Oh yeah, it is." Jack grinned wistfully. "The heroic Captain Jack and his faithful sidekick Jones, Ianto Jones."

"Nope," retorted a bemused Ianto, "I was thinking more Jones, Ianto Jones and his faithful front man Jack."

"But you're the butler and I'm the hero!" Jack protested with mock horror, knowing full well his argument would be cut down, and looking forward to how that would come.

Nudging Jack with his shoulder as they walked, Ianto explained, "And that means I'm the power behind the throne - no surprise there because it appears I am a god. Rhys told me that and you heard Owen say it. Apparently I'm the god of Torchwood."

"So I've heard," replied Jack cryptically, keeping to himself the full story of the afternoon's conversation with the team. Nudging Ianto in return, he continued speculatively, "Maybe we could take it in turns to be the leader?"

"Indeed we could," Ianto mused. "Or…" He turned his head and waited for Jack to look at him as they walked.

"Or?" Glancing sideways, Jack raised an eyebrow, and with a look of understanding said, "Let's just be ourselves, equals, no labels, and no roles." With a quick wink he whispered in conspiracy, "Don't say anything, but that's not very twenty-first century!"

Ianto whispered back, "We won't tell Tosh." Both laughed at the thought, and turned once more to watch their path. After a few moments of silence between them, Ianto began to chuckle, and he said, "Glad that's sorted then."

Jack joined him in his quiet laughter, "Yeah, me too …you'd make a terrible wife."

"I was just thinking that of you," Ianto returned, throwing his arm over Jack's shoulders. They walked in silence for several minutes, content with simple companionship, as they made their way through the orange glow of rain washed streets. It was Jack who broke their silent progress, saying with soft certainty:

"You may not want to hear this now, but I'm going to say it: all of those people today are correct, you are gorgeous, and you don't need the -"

Ianto cut him off with quiet sincerity, "And neither do you, it's just you, Jack, nothing else."

"Just me?"

"Just you." Smiling his knowing smile, Ianto continued, "Haven't I been saying there's no need for fifty-first century pheromones?"

"You have," agreed Jack, adding with satisfaction, "and I'm beginning to think that I have no need for anything else when it comes to you, Jones, Ianto Jones."

"Is that right, Sir?" chuckled Ianto, as he took in the implied meaning, "Making progress then, aren't we."

Feeling Ianto's arm slip off his shoulders and the warmth of a hand take his, Jack grinned widely and said quietly, "I think we are." As they walked, their heels drummed a steady rhythm on the pavement of an otherwise silent street.

* * *

**Additional Author's Note 1:** The Cardiff Lions are a real rugby team. Team members are predominantly, though not necessarily, gay and it is a socially inclusive club –one of about forty such clubs around the world. They play in the mainstream competition in Cardiff.

**Additional Author's Note 2: **Coming up in Chapter 4, Ianto and Jack go out to the opera, leaving Gwen, Owen and Tosh to mind the Hub**. **Tosh asks Gwen an unexpected question and Owen surprises them both.


End file.
